You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence... Psalm 16:11

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Taste Test

I have friends that LOVE their mani-pedis. It took me a while to understand they were a manicure and a pedicure at the same time. At first I thought it might be something I would see on Man vs. Wild. For most, it is a time of pampering and relaxation. Although I admit the finished product looks very nice, they stress me. I usually can't understand the conversation with my "nail artist" and then every minute I am sitting still, is a minute ticking away from my "to do" list. Nearby is my cell phone buzzing with every polish stroke and by the time I make it to the car, I can assure you I have hit one of the nails, instantly creating a flaw. I am not relaxed at that point! So for me, relaxation is a lifey-wholey. In my town, the Lifeway Christian Bookstore is right next to Whole Foods.

Monday, I started my week off with a field trip. A close friend of mine agreed to meet me at Lifeway to check out some books. We had a goal in mind but didn't exactly know what we were looking for. Ahhhh, an excuse to peruse each aisle...slowly. Then we were heading to Whole Foods for lunch. Now this is how you start a Monday! As I entered the store, the friendly clerk extended the usual greeting, "Welcome to Lifeway". I wanted to scream, "Shhhhh. I have entered the therapy zone." My eyes were jumping from books to their new Christmas items. We settled into an aisle and began flipping. As we narrowed down the search to 5 books, we headed to the big comfy leather chairs. It was decision making time. "No.....I don't think so.....Maybe.....Yikes!" My friend turned and gave me a questionable look. I had just read a few lines in the last book and closed it quickly. I then explained that I had picked the page with some challenging stuff and I didn't want it "to get on me" until we decided if that was the book. After we laughed, we obviously knew that was the book.

We made the very short trip next door to Whole Foods. Ahhhh, again. My organ's just feel healthier when I walk in the place. We made a dash to the lunch buffet. Colors and smells jumped on my plate. There are usually some traditional things and then some crazy things. My family has been sweet to adapt to healthier versions of mac n' cheese but some of the crazy stuff is too much to ask. So I go crazy for the crazies. Tofu has been a recent taste test for me. It doesn't look appealing at all but has huge nutritional benefits. I like some versions of it and my daughter, Morgan even tried the fried tofu before heading to college and admitted it tasted just like chicken.

After leaving my lifey-wholey with my buddy, I thought about Jesus. Now am I sure you are asking how comfy leather chairs and tofu get me to Jesus thoughts. Well, I am glad you asked. We live in a world that is way too comfortable in our "safe places".
Or are we really? I think we long for something more but are never willing to take the steps of something different....better for us. So, we choose to stay in our safe spot and settle for comfort over satisfying our longings. We judge a book by its cover (so to speak) and never dive in to really experience the truth. We settle for someone else's suggestion or opinion instead of finding out for ourselves. We stay away from the things that don't look too good even though we know there are great benefits for us if we just branch out.

I don't know anyone who doesn't want more hope, peace, love, purpose or satisfaction in their life. Sit down in a big comfy chair and open God's Word for yourself. Whether it is the first time for you or you read it regularly, go way beyond the cover. Don't judge Jesus based on what you have heard or read somewhere else. Read it yourself straight from the source. It is ok if it gets on you. It may not seem appealing at first, but take the advise of Psalm 34:8..."Taste and see that the Lord is GOOD".

Monday, September 27, 2010

The Greatness of Knowing Him

I hope you had an incredible weekend. We were on the road most of last week and the weekend. Ridley spoke in Nashville on Wednesday and then we immediately left for him to speak in Georgia. After Georgia, we headed directly to Birmingham to hook up with my parents and our kids for Samford Family Weekend. Our children had not seen Morgan's dorm or her new world. Then we made our way home late Saturday to be ready for church on Sunday. I love getting the suitcase out, and I am usually very excited to put it away for a while and enjoy the routine of home.

When I am on the road with Ridley, I shift from a roadie to a groupie. I love being with him to help with all the little things. He is an intelligent man so he can manage without me, but I love to make sure he is taken care of. It is more than handling the business cards, the book sales, the matching of his socks, and maintaining a good chocolate stash. For me, it is my ministry to him. I love to speak wherever God takes me, but with Ridley I just love being there....praying. I love squeezing his hand to let him know I believe in him. I love sitting close by when he talks so I can catch his eye during a difficult moment and remind him that he can "do this". I love being there afterwards to listen as he summarizes what God was doing. I am his biggest fan!

Interestingly enough, I feel the biggest dose of God's love when Ridley speaks. I never get tired of the story of a big God that carried a broken man I love, through something so tragic. Then God loves on me in a way that is hard to explain...but I am going to try. There are numerous people that usually want to talk to Ridley after he speaks. So many people can relate to pain, tragedy, grief, etc. Sometimes the lines are long and the people are emotional. Ridley delivers a raw and transparent message that goes well beyond the medical world's charts, graphs and statistics. He is the voice of a victim who shares his pain, his real emotions, along with a message of forgiveness and God's grace. So many times I find myself in private conversations with people as well. The questions are often similar and sweet in nature. "How in the world do you do it?" or "Isn't this hard for you?". Sometimes there are quick statements shared by men and women like "You must really be a strong woman" or "My wife couldn't do this."

This past Wednesday I had a lady asked me a question that no one else has ever asked. I believe she truly asked with a sincere desire to know the real answer. She approached me and said, "I just have to know. What is it like to live his loss as your gain?" The question hit me smack in the face. I was expecting one of the "typical ones". Don't think I haven't often heard Ridley's pain or seen his tears and not felt guilty at times. So when the lady asked, I did exactly what I do when I question things myself. I began to pray quickly. So I responded, "I won't lie. It isn't always easy, but I am reminded that God has me here for this time for a reason." She smiled and thanked me for being honest. Long after she left, her words lingered. On the ride home, I really thought about each word in her question. "His loss." "Your gain". I admit, I once again found myself questioning whether I am living out my joy or if I am somehow living in a way that is a by-product of feeling guilty.

Then it was as if Jesus quietly whispered in my ear as I thought of the verse in Philippians 3:8. In this verse Paul explains, "I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things." It was as if Jesus was squeezing my hand and reminding me that He believes in me. This verse means nothing matters except our relationship with Christ. Everything else is a loss. I realize the lady was asking me about the physical loss Ridley has experienced but Jesus was reminding me that nothing I have accomplished, nothing I have been through, and nothing I have right now matters. It is all a loss because I know Jesus Christ. He is my Lord and the greatness of knowing Him is enough.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Purpose in the little things

Happy Monday! In my house we start the week out by saying, "No yucky Monday!" I had a great birthday weekend. It doesn't get any better than to have my birthday fall on a Sunday. I got to worship with my incredible church family and I got to hear this really amazing and handsome pastor preach. I did think it was funny that he preached on depression for my birthday (which was planned 6 months in advance). I had no problem claiming the truth, "It's not about me". Sometimes, I have a hard time reminding myself of that in the everyday little things.

This week starts the busy speaking season for Ridley. They are exciting times and exhausting times. Being on the road can wear you out a bit and reliving the painful loss of Joshua can take its toll on Ridley. I pray so hard for him during these times, but we both know, "It's not about us". There was one time in Arizona that we were sooooo reminded of this fact. Ridley steps into a secular work world and it oftentimes received as "just another continuing education" guy....at first. When the attendees realize he is the face of a victim and not just another deliverer of charts and statistics, you can watch Jesus show off. Keep in mind, most of the time the facility that has invited Ridley, has noted that he is a pastor so they often ask him to keep his faith on the down low. No worries....someone in the room usually brings it up for him during the question and answer time. It is amazing.

This one time in Arizona, the media guy that was scheduled to video Ridley, could not be there at the last minute so they called in their backup guy. After the event was over, the man behind the camera approached Ridley and thanked him. He had written a suicide letter before getting the phone call to come into work. He had plans to go home and kill himself. God had a different plan.

Can I admit there are times we don't want to live out of a suitcase or deal with airport junk. There are times we don't want to get out of the hotel bed and face the story again. It is hard for Ridley to tell and it is hard for me to watch him hurt. It is NOT about us.

Yesterday, I was reminded of the choices we make and how important they are. Yes, I am stating the obvious but when they can affect so many other people, are we remembering that it REALLY isn't about us? It is about what God wants to do with us! A couple of weeks ago, Ridley came home and told me about a young boy in school, who needed a mentor. Ridley wanted to pray to see if he should step up to the request. As the Godly wife I am, I questioned it. "Are you sure?"... "I mean you are really busy"...."Isn't there someone else, maybe?" "But what about our simplify goal?" "But...But...But"
After praying together a couple of times, God said, "Lisa, your big But is getting in my way". I was reminded that we just sent one daughter to college and we would have Joshua today if he had survived the mistake at the hospital. After praying together one day, Ridley told me he thought he should invest in this boy. He lives with his mom who is a single parent and his relationship with his father is not a healthy one. Ridley reminded me that Joshua's middle name was the same as this young man.

Ridley visits his new friend at school a couple of times during the week. It seems that this student is typically in trouble when Ridley arrives but when I hear the play by play of their time together, I know God is up to something. This boy needs to know he is special and that somebody believes in him. I got the awesome chance to meet the mom yesterday at church. She was visiting for the first time and through tears she shared some of her difficulties. Through my own tears, I got to explain that the time Ridley gets to spend with her son is a blessing for him too. She did not know Ridley had lost his own son. It was a sweet moment between two mommas that didn't know each other at all.

Proverbs 19:21... "Many are the plans in a man's heart, BUT it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." I assure you there are so many times I have all the plans in my heart and although they make sense to me, it is the Lord's purpose I really want to live for. It just can not be about us....me. In the end, when we do the uncomfortable, tiring things that aren't about us, we end up receiving the blessing of watching God's purpose. Make a decision today like it affects someone else because it probably does.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Laugh at things to come

I remember sitting in my sunroom on New Year's Day in 2007. I was reading my Bible about the Proverbs 31 woman. That day, I focused on the verse that talks about "laughing at things to come". (Proverbs 31:25) At that point, I had shed a whole lot of tears in my life. I was encouraged that my laughing days were ahead. Little did I know I was about to meet Ridley Barron and soon become a pastor's wife. If God had told me that on New Year's Day in 2007, I would have just gone on and laughed right then. See? God has a sense of humor too.

Yesterday, I sat on a bench in downtown Franklin, eating pumpkin yogurt and laughing with a dear friend. I couldn't help but think of that verse and that promise in 2007. We happened to be talking about getting older. It was only appropriate as I am approaching my 43rd birthday this weekend. We were laughing at the things that are so funny as you face and embrace getting older.

Earlier in the week, I was running errands after school and my daughter, Landon was the only one who wanted to go with me. As we talked about my birthday she informed me that I was not old. She looked at me and smiled the cutest smile as she said, "You have braces. That makes you look younger." Before I could comment, she continued with, "Besides, you don't have a smell yet." She was holding my hand and patting the back of it. I was waiting for a chuckle from her but as I glanced over at her, I could tell she was serious. I asked, "What?". Landon followed up with, "You know....an old person smell. What did your Poppie smell like?" Poppie was my grandfather that I was very close to. I told her I wasn't sure, but I knew Poppie was smelling pretty with Jesus.

Then one day as my family was all hovering around the kitchen, I heard Landon say, "Yes ma'am." I corrected her and said, "Yes SIR." She said, "What?". Ridley quickly jumped in and said, "Baby, you asked the question a minute ago." I was shocked. I was sure I had heard him ask Landon the question. We started laughing, as I demanded an explanation for how that happens.

So I know I am working my way to a point where I will need lip liner to remember where to color in the lines. I am moving from M, T, W, TH, F, Sat, Sun little girl panties to pill boxes with the days of the week. I am reflecting on "back in the days" when high school cheerleaders had to have flexibility and not just some spirit fingers. I understand that I am moving from the days of buying my bra in a bin to buying it in a box and I soon will only have 2 color options. I am already at the point where a traffic light needs to be installed on the way to the bathroom for in the middle of the night as I pass my hubby.
It is all part of it! I am doing my best to laugh at what is next. I refuse to swipe the Sweet N Low from restaurants or wrap the left over rolls in a napkin to take home.

I seriously am excited that my birthdays now have great memories. Special days and holidays used to be awful for me so I welcome the jokes from my family and I celebrate that I don't have a smell.....yet.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Joyfully ever after......

Thank you so much for reading my blog. I absolutely love blogging. I don't love the 3:00 a.m. wake ups where my mind is racing about what to write or the over thinking of proper grammar. It isn't about my story....I have heard it before. I love hearing from you! I love the spontaneous conversations in the grocery store, the emails from strangers that instantly become a friend through their words, and the encouragement from others that are pushing through this adventurous life. I truly love hearing the stories.

One of my favorite blog days was the day I asked how I could pray for you and I got many responses from all over the country. I met my new friend, Janet who I am still praying for along with all the others that asked me to pray. Your words are taped on my bathroom mirror and your specific request are underlined in red. So thank you for reading and for sharing.

I need to hear from you today. You have heard me say that Ridley and I are writing a book. I KNOW Jesus wants us to write this book. I know the enemy does not. To share just a little, our book is based on our journals before (and after) we met. The chapters parallel our lives, what God was up to and what we were praying. It starts on the day of the accident with Ridley's family. The following chapter shares my thoughts, struggles, and prayers on that same day. The book continues in that format to show how there were days where we were wondering where God was, and how with all our individual broken pieces, He was lovingly at work.

So you may be asking why I need your help. Well, I have interviewed close friends that walked beside me during the tough times. I have listened to family and noted what they watched and felt. Now I need to know what you would want to read about. It is our desire to be completely transparent in this book and to be used by God to minister to others. You have gotten glimpses and pieces of our stories through blogs, magazine articles, speaking opportunities and friends. What is missing? What are the tough questions you want to ask? It may be about our single parenting days. It may be about grief or rejection. It may be about dating again. It may be about blending a family. It may be about something from our past and how it is affecting our future. You may even have a Lisa or Ridley memory where you saw God at work. I would LOVE to hear those and add them too.

This isn't our story. God is the author! I can't wait to hear from you........

Monday, September 13, 2010

Watch Where You Are Going

Today I want to thank Jesus for my future and the exciting unknown. Yes, that can be hard to do. The bully of fear can run around on my playground and leave me a little idle. I can tend to be so consumed with the NOW. The bills NOW. The kids NOW. The "to do list" NOW. The parenting issues NOW. The pain NOW. The fun things NOW. The problems NOW.

Then there is the past. How many times do we think backwards instead of forwards? There are times when we do need to think backwards. Times that we may need to go back for forgiveness or making a wrong right. There are the times that we need to focus backwards to learn from our mistakes. There are great memories that take us back and remind us to be thankful...again.

Ridley and I each have a ministry that tends to center around our past. Our pain, our tragedies, and our God that loved us through it all. If we are not careful, we can live our "now" constantly focused on the past. This can be a dangerous balance for our marriage. There are things we want to remember so we can encourage and minister to others. More importantly, we want to live a life that acknowledges what God has done for us. The easy trap to fall into is thinking that God has already done the big stuff in our life.

When I tuck my kids in at night, I tell them to have Sweet Jesus Dreams! This morning as I was having my quiet time, I thought about my Sweet Jesus Dreams. I realized I don't do as much dreaming about what God is up to next or about what is ahead. I should be dreaming about our book we are writing and what it might look like on a bookstore shelf one day. I should be dreaming about the fun things I haven't experienced with my husband yet. I should be dreaming about my kids getting married one day and my grandchildren. I should be dreaming about the memories I can continue to make with my parents. I should be excited to fill the empty pages of my journal with request for all my friends and new friends. I should be excited about finally deciding what I want to be when I grow up.

I could picture the verse the minute I thought of it. It is highlighted in pink and on the left side of my Bible. I have to refer to it often. Isaiah 43:18 and 19...."Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing." Today, the word "SEE" jumped out at me. God is saying, "LOOK. Open your eyes". "Keep dreaming". "I am not done".

Then, just as sweet (and bossy) and He is, the Holy Spirit took me to Job 42. Nestled at the end of that book of the Bible is verse 12 that says, " The Lord blessed the latter part of Job's life more than the first."

Are you ready for the more? Or do you find yourself being idle in your pain, your failures, or your fears? I have friends who are sick. I have friends who have endured cancer. I have friends whose marriages are hanging by a thread. I have friends who aren't sure how they are going to pay their bills. I have friends whose children are making terrible mistakes. Who wants to dream about the future when the NOW is so hard? I understand the difficulty of thinking you can't handle much more, but the verse in Job tells us to focus on a different "more".

The verse in Job gives you great reason to embrace MORE. Don't be afraid to dream Sweet Jesus Dreams!!!!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

What if I Hadn't Prayed

Here is my question for you today....Do you pray defensively? As I have shared in a few previous posts, I call satan "hairy butt satan". I know it isn't very lady like of me, but he is just nasty. Some would say my attention to the enemy gives him way too much credit. I say if you know what you are up against, then you can pray defensively.

I have a dear friend that taught me several years ago how to really enrich my prayer life. I have listened to her prayers for years and been the recipient of many of her sweet request. One day she taught me to pray for "corrupt companions" to be removed from my family's life. I know of some that have been and I am sure there are some I didn't even know about that have been removed. That one prayer taught me so much about praying defensively. As a pastor's wife, that specific prayer has been a part of my prayer life in the last three years. When you put your family out there to minister to so many, you don't limit who you love on. However, my protective heart for my family, begs God to do the filtering for us.

This weekend I really got to thinking about how important defensive prayers are. I thanked Jesus for the things that I wasn't even aware of that He has protected me from. I thanked Him for the things that don't look exactly the way I would like for them to, because I realized they could look a whole lot worse if I hadn't been praying. Defensive use of God's Word can put satan in his place. Jesus used the Word against satan when He was being tempted. He kept saying "It is written...." and finally satan gave up and left Him alone. Praying puts satan in his place and that is right under the feet of Jesus as a footstool!!!

Interestingly enough I went to the internet this morning to read up on some resources about praying defensively. In searching, the first thing that came up was the defensive tactics of a praying mantis. I was intrigued and found that the praying mantis has a cool defensive strategy we can all learn from. Also pretty cool that they are called PRAYING mantis huh? If you look at a picture of a praying mantis in a defensive position, they look like they are standing tall and praising Jesus. When threatened, they stand tall and spread their forelegs out wide to allow them to penetrate their target. They also spread their wings to make them look bigger and open their mouths.

Although we typically think of "getting on our knees" in prayer, I love the image of the praying mantis standing tall with confidence, limbs spread wide and opening their mouth. When we can develop the same defensive tactic in our prayer life we can rest in knowing that God really is bigger than the enemy we face. Our prayers should be in advance and with a confidence that can only come from really believing our God and the power of prayer.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Game on!

Yesterday I got in the car to head out to work and I continued my conversation with Jesus while driving. I was quick to tell Him I just didn't feel like walking in the Spirit so I was just going to walk in the flesh for the day. The day had already beaten me up and it was only 9:00 a.m. I was having a pity party prayer. As I thought about walking in the flesh vs. walking in the Spirit, I thought about my toes crammed in my high heels for the day. See? I didn't even have the right shoes for walking in the Spirit. I joked around in my thoughts as I told God I didn't own a pair of Easy Spirits. He quickly reminded me to put on my shoes of peace. (Ephesians 6: 10-17). I tried to picture what those might look like and if they would match my business suit. I pictured cleats! The shoe that will allow you to dig in and tackle anything.

That took me to thoughts of football season. It is right around the corner and this girl loves football! I grew up learning and loving the game. As I have gotten older, I love the sport in general. I have my teams I like and the ones I really don't like. I instantly became a Georgia Bulldog fan, of course, when I married Ridley. He jokes that my red and black attire on our first date was a sign from God.

I remember hooking up my Direct TV at my new house shortly after the divorce. I had requested the Extended Game Day Package. The installer read the order and looked at me as he said, "You are a really good wife." I quickly corrected him to say that I was not married. He then replied, "You are every man's dream". He got the not-so-nice look from me that most men got during my healing season. I share this simply to say, I LOVE football.

So yesterday, as I listened to my coach (Jesus), I thought about my team attitude. If God is for us, who can be against us..right?
I pictured Jesus sitting in this huge stadium and cheering for me. I pictured how He promises to stay to the very end of the game and even if I was the only one playing, He would be there to encourage me. My thoughts wandered to all the roles He plays on my team. Think about it!

He is the best REFEREE. He took the penalty for us when He died for our sins. (Romans 5:6-8)

He is the best DEFENSE. "We have one who speaks to the Father in our defense - Jesus Christ. (1John 2:1)

He can help us ADVANCE. "With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall." (Psalm 18:29)

He is the best GUARD. "And the peace of God, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:7)

He has the greatest STRATEGY. "The wicked man flees though no one pursues, but the righteous are as bold as a lion." (Proverbs 28:1)

He works the sidelines and moves the CHAINS. "To loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free." (Isaiah 58:6)

FIRST AND TEN! We give him 10% of our 1st fruits, He blesses our hard work. (Deuteronomy 14: 22-28)

He is the only Teacher and COACH we need. "for you have one Teacher, the Christ." (Matthew 23:10)

He makes us WINNERS. "I press on toward the GOAL to WIN the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
(Philippians 3:14)


I felt like I was in the fourth quarter all day yesterday. The game of life had me out of breath and I was feeling the hurt early, longing for the locker room. However, I decided if Jesus is willing to be all those things for me and cheer me on, then I should play with all my heart. I decided the shoes of peace may not match my outfit but I wasn't a quitter. Think about this....We have to be out on the field, so why not choose to be on His team. I can assure you, you don't want to play against Him.

He's wearing your jersey. He believes in you!