Permission

I had a moment the other day that made me focus on how people often need validating. I had just returned from being out of town and found out that my grandma had gone into a coma while I was gone. Her health has been deteriorating at 85 years old. She has recently been in a memory care facility for her Alzheimers. I made arrangements to go see her. I have heard that people can still hear you at times while in a coma. I also knew I was heading out of town again soon and wanted the chance to see her. My mom and I met at the facility on Tuesday morning. I walked in with my Bible under my arm and saw that they had moved my grandmother from the bed to her chair. The workers told us she had been awake a bit and had something to drink. She was sound asleep in her chair. I went over beside her and one of the workers woke her up. She looked at me and I told her that her lipstick looked pretty. The place where she lives always makes sure she looks nice and feels good about herself. I thought back to her green lipstick case I used to watch her pull out of her purse. I knew she would be happy to know it was on her lips. She opened her eyes and we talked for about twenty minutes. Some of the conversation made no sense and then sometimes she was so clear.

As we began to talk, she asked me if I wanted some of her cranberry juice. I told her she always had us drink that so I had plenty over the years and she needed to drink it. She then said the cutest thing. She said, "I can be bossy like that". I laughed and told her that must be where my dad and I get the bossy gene. She repeated several times that she could be bossy. I talked about memories of when she would fuss at us grandkids. She smiled and said she didn't remember. Then when I asked if she was tired she responded, "I am tired of everything". I told her she had lived a great life and had been a wonderful wife, mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I told her I loved her and she said the same back to me. Then she said, "He keeps trying to get me to come." She repeated it several times. I smiled and asked her, "Who?" She shut her eyes and didn't respond, but I knew who she was talking about.

Grandma was in and out of conversation, but I gave her permission to go dance with Jesus and my poppie. My grandfather, or poppie as we called him, died eleven years ago. I told her he had waited long enough. I read John 14: 1-4 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. 2 My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. 4 You know the way to the place where I am going.” I told her I was excited for her and that there was an amazing place prepared for her. She fell back asleep and I left blessed by the conversation I had with her.

This morning I woke up to the view of sandy beaches at West Palm Beach, Florida. I got the call from my parents that grandma had gone to dance this morning. I smiled at the thought of her and the promise of a new body. I thought about all the "well dones" that Jesus probably told her. I was glad her pain was over. As I looked at the beautiful reminder of creation outside this morning, I was also reminded how powerful and in control our Heavenly Father is.

I believe my grandma was hanging on for the family that she loved so dearly for so many years. She was unselfish like that. It was my turn to be unselfish and to give her permission to go. I had to. I loved her.