Do You Have a Crush? - C.S.I.

Over the last several days I have had lots of thoughts about crushes! They haven't been thoughts of reflection back to my fifth grade playground crush or any inappropriate attention to the latest Hollywood hunk. I am referring to THE crushed. The crushed in spirit.

Let's play a little C.S.I. (Crushed Spirit investigation)

Our hearts can only take so many attacks. We all want to be loved, accepted, praised, pretty, special, noticed, appreciated, respected, and _______________. You fill in the blank. It starts at a young age and for us to think it stops after high school, is foolish. Adults even at fifty or eighty years old want to feel good. Our bones may begin to ache and gravity may start to kick in, but we never outgrow the need for a light, loved heart.

As a child we are great at bouncing back. The minute an unkind word is spoken we immediately recite, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." Fast forward to forty years old and we find ourselves with layers of hurt and keeping score of all the unkind things we have heard about ourselves. It is amazing how somedays I can't remember where my grocery list is, but I can remember some of those comments in the girls locker room from middle school.

There was a time where my adult choices led me to an environment of unwanted emotional and verbal abuse. It really hits home when you ARE home. When the crushing comes from someone who is supposed to love you the most, it is incredibly painful. You take a deep breath as you cross the threshold of your home anticipating the worse and trying to find the heart energy to take some more. Whether it is a parent, an adult child, a spouse or some other loved one, it is devastating to hear the constant long list of failures (in their mind). Before long, you find yourself believing the lies and walking in defeat.

So, let's go back to playing our C.S.I. Wake up this morning and investigate your heart. There may be many crushes that have you waking up already feeling defeated. We can solve that!!!!! Before you muster up the energy to tackle your plans for the day, grab your Bible and go to Psalm 34:18. "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." That makes me cry happy tears. God wrote us a love note that you may need to pull back out and read today. He thinks you are ALWAYS worth it!

He has picked you. He loves you. He thinks you are special. He is never going to leave you. He has wonderful things to say about you and it is a mile long list. He has a crush on you and it is the good kind of crush. It isn't an off and on kind of love based on circumstances or moods. It is an all the time, even on bad days, best kind of love. Zephaniah 3:17 should make your smile turn upward. "Don't despair. Your God is present among you, a strong Warrior there to save you. Happy to have you back, He'll calm you with his love and delight you with His songs." (The Message)

It is THAT easy to solve the crime. God is unconditional love. He is singing over you today. Ahhhh, the excitement of a new crush!

It's Black and White

Here is a Lisa fun fact: I play the piano. Now before you start trying to get me to come play at your party, please understand it is simply a "for fun" hobby. I absolutely love the sound of the piano. It is all my uncle Greg's fault. The guy can play the piano! Growing up, my uncle Greg was a hero of mine. I loved going to Virginia to visit my family but some of my favorite memories are of sitting on the piano bench with my hero. I was amazed. When the bench was empty, the piano just looked like black and white keys that were patiently waiting for attention. However, I knew the passion my uncle could put into that instrument and the incredible passion that came out with every note.

I tackled piano lessons myself. I was driven by the example Greg had set for me. I longed to learn the names of the keys. I wanted to know how the left hand did its own thing while the right hand moved in the other direction. I wanted to move beyond Chopsticks and get to the good stuff. There were moments the learning went to slow. There were moments the practicing was no fun. There were those moments I cringed when my mom made me practice and invest in what I had committed to do. Ugh! Then came the recitals. I remember the feeling of wanting to throw up. Would I play with the confidence that I had in the privacy of my own living room?

The last several days I have thought about my old piano. Then I began to visualize how the piano reminds me of my relationship with Jesus. I always knew a piano was called a piano long before I touched the first key. It looked just like black and white keys until I learned more about it. Then after I spent some time studying the piano, the keys began to take shape and meaning. I recognized them by name. The more I learned, the more I was able to make prettier sounding music.

Jesus is patiently waiting for all of us to stop, get close, and learn about Him. He wants us to sit down, listen and give Him a try. It isn't enough to just walk by and recognize Him. He longs for us to grow passionate for Him and to allow Him to be passionate through us. He waits for us to model it for others so they want to learn. Yes, there are times where the learning goes slower than we would like. There are those moments that make us cringe because we need to invest a little more in our commitment to Him. Then are the really big moments where we want to throw up as we live more boldly by witnessing to others. We can only hope to have the same confidence in sharing Him as we do living for Him behind closed doors.

Don't walk by Him one more day and just recognize Him. It isn't enough! Get to know Him. Practice putting Him into your life. It doesn't have to start out as a grand recital. It can be a quiet moment in your living room on a bench. What appears to be intimidating can be absolutely beautiful. With mistakes and all, you can make some of the most beautiful music in your life.

Double Portion

As we sat in church yesterday and learned about double portion which is referenced through the story of Elijah and Elisha in 2 Kings, I smiled. It was Father's Day and I couldn't help but think of the double portion blessing that God has given me. One blessing is my father and the other is my husband.

My dad and my husband have so much in common it makes me giggle out of happiness that God picked these two men for me. Having my dad in the same town is a huge gift. I don't get to see him as much as I would like to but there is such comfort knowing he is close by. These two men have the same affect on me. Let me share a few reasons....

1. When I pass their cars in town, my heart does a back flip.

2. I can share just about anything with both of them and know they will still be one of my biggest fans.

3. They operate with Godly integrity and honesty.

4. I can sit beside both of them and be the proudest girl in the world.

5. Both have taught me so much and both make me a better person.

6. Both love my kids to pieces.

7. Both love their wives really well.

8. Both get angry when someone they love one is hurt (physically or emotionally).

9. Both are unselfish in the way they care for others and both would help a stranger in a heartbeat.

10. Both work hard to provide for their families.

11. Both impress me the most when they are learning more about Jesus and when they show their soft side.

12. Both love football! (Yeah for me)

13. Both don't like the UT Vols (Yeah for Ridley....I would have had to pray about marrying into that).

14. Both love my cooking.

15. Both look handsome all dressed up.

16. Both love being with their family.

17. Both appreciate and respect each other.

18. Both give great hugs.

19. Both mean the world to me and are my heros.

20. Both are constantly on my prayer list.

To the daddy who has always loved me, believed in me and supported me despite my mistakes and failures....thanks for always finding the good in me. I love you!

To the husband who always loves me, prays for me, and sees the potential in me to dream big. I love you!

To my Heavenly Father who has blessed me with double portion, I love you with a grateful heart!!!

Put It Back Where It Belongs

Recently, Ridley and I came back into town and as we made the late night ride home from the airport, all I could think about was getting in my own bed. I walked in the door of my house and I was greeted by the smell of trash. Then I noticed my kitchen. The counters looked like a giant scrapbook of empty cardboard pizza circles, crumbs, and dirty dishes. There was even a scratch n' sniff section of everything my kids had eaten over the days while we were gone. Well, I did what a tired momma does. I cleaned and grumbled. On this last trip's ride home from the airport, I almost begged Ridley to just let me sleep in the truck in the driveway until morning. I walked in with my nose pinched and one eye shut. My kitchen was clean! The sink was empty, the trash was out and the dishwasher was full of freshly cleaned dishes. I ran to bed with a grateful heart for my kids.

As parents, we have tried to pound it into our kid's head that you put stuff back where it belongs so you only have to touch it once. Letting it sit on the steps as you walk by twelve times, doesn't make it go away. With six of us, we can get in the habit of dump and go. Coupons are swirling due to the ceiling fans, car maintenance receipts hang out on the breakfast bar awaiting the proper glove compartment, and clean clothes collect enough dust to be labeled dirty again. Nothing makes the mom happier than her house being clean and her family helping her keep it that way. I know I feel so less stressed if I can come home to a clean house.

I have been making my mental list of projects for the next couple of days. As I have been doing that, a familiar passage has come to mind. Ephesians 3:17-19 (I love Ephesians). "17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

Jesus dwells in our hearts. He knocks on the door of our hearts and enters in when we open and receive Him. He steps into the areas where the garbage of our lives stinks and the walls display many scrapbook worthy scars of hurt, rejection, pain and suffering. He doesn't care. He would still choose to live there as long as we invite Him in. He is not one to bust the door down but He does stand super close, anxiously waiting to hear for the jiggling of the lock on our hearts.

Once He dwells in our hearts, we have a huge responsibility to keep His house clean. It is easy to get in the habit of "dump and go". For me, I know my past can clutter my heart if I let it. I was encouraged the other day when I reread the verse in Isaiah 43:18. It says, "Forget the former things. Do not dwell on the past." I felt so much relief when I noticed the words "do not dwell". I often feel guilty for even thinking about some of the junk of my past, but this verse lets me know that God knew we would think about those things and it is ok at times. The verse says not to dwell on it....not to hang out there too long. Basically, it is ok for us to get it out every now and then, but we need to pick up after ourselves and put it back where it belongs to keep our heart house clean. You see, I think Jesus uses some of the pain of my past to keep me in check to not hurt others. I think He reminds me of feelings of rejection so that it makes it easier for me to love the unlovable. I believe God can use our junk for good, but if He lives in our hearts, we have to put things back where they belong and only get them out when He sees fit. A clean heart can allow peace to flow, the stress to fade, and the glory of God to be shiny clean for the world to see!

Permission

I had a moment the other day that made me focus on how people often need validating. I had just returned from being out of town and found out that my grandma had gone into a coma while I was gone. Her health has been deteriorating at 85 years old. She has recently been in a memory care facility for her Alzheimers. I made arrangements to go see her. I have heard that people can still hear you at times while in a coma. I also knew I was heading out of town again soon and wanted the chance to see her. My mom and I met at the facility on Tuesday morning. I walked in with my Bible under my arm and saw that they had moved my grandmother from the bed to her chair. The workers told us she had been awake a bit and had something to drink. She was sound asleep in her chair. I went over beside her and one of the workers woke her up. She looked at me and I told her that her lipstick looked pretty. The place where she lives always makes sure she looks nice and feels good about herself. I thought back to her green lipstick case I used to watch her pull out of her purse. I knew she would be happy to know it was on her lips. She opened her eyes and we talked for about twenty minutes. Some of the conversation made no sense and then sometimes she was so clear.

As we began to talk, she asked me if I wanted some of her cranberry juice. I told her she always had us drink that so I had plenty over the years and she needed to drink it. She then said the cutest thing. She said, "I can be bossy like that". I laughed and told her that must be where my dad and I get the bossy gene. She repeated several times that she could be bossy. I talked about memories of when she would fuss at us grandkids. She smiled and said she didn't remember. Then when I asked if she was tired she responded, "I am tired of everything". I told her she had lived a great life and had been a wonderful wife, mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I told her I loved her and she said the same back to me. Then she said, "He keeps trying to get me to come." She repeated it several times. I smiled and asked her, "Who?" She shut her eyes and didn't respond, but I knew who she was talking about.

Grandma was in and out of conversation, but I gave her permission to go dance with Jesus and my poppie. My grandfather, or poppie as we called him, died eleven years ago. I told her he had waited long enough. I read John 14: 1-4 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. 2 My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. 4 You know the way to the place where I am going.” I told her I was excited for her and that there was an amazing place prepared for her. She fell back asleep and I left blessed by the conversation I had with her.

This morning I woke up to the view of sandy beaches at West Palm Beach, Florida. I got the call from my parents that grandma had gone to dance this morning. I smiled at the thought of her and the promise of a new body. I thought about all the "well dones" that Jesus probably told her. I was glad her pain was over. As I looked at the beautiful reminder of creation outside this morning, I was also reminded how powerful and in control our Heavenly Father is.

I believe my grandma was hanging on for the family that she loved so dearly for so many years. She was unselfish like that. It was my turn to be unselfish and to give her permission to go. I had to. I loved her.

Pressure Points

Since I was the first to wake up this morning, I quietly tip toed into our home office. Some extra TLC has gone into that room of our house since Ridley moved things from the church office to home. We have built in bookcases in the office and we also had to bring in extra bookcases to hold all of the books he has. I was excited about having my quiet time in the "new office". As I curled up in my red leather chair, I looked around the room and thought about all the scripture in all the books that surrounded me. It was like sitting in the middle of Lifeway Christian Bookstore. There was a sweet feeling of sitting in the middle of God's Word. I got up out of the chair and approached one of the many shelves of books. As my eyes scanned the row, a small little book made its way into my view over all the others. It was about pressure points. I was interested. As I headed back to my chair, I began to flip.

What was going to be a quiet moment, turned into moments of sirens going off in my head. On the first several pages this little book talked about how a marriage can be challenged by pressure points. There were a few pages that had a questionnaire. I played along. It asked the reader to check "any that applied". The topics were things like, "do you have kids?, do you have any recent major changes in your life?, do you help out with aging parents?, do you have financial concerns? are you experiencing health issues?" The list went on and on. What started as a quiet morning was quickly turning into pressure as I read about pressure points. The book went on to encourage the reader to discuss with their mate all the pressure points they were experiencing. Now, I will tell you if there is something on my heart, I want to talk to you right then. I looked at the clock and decided 7:30 a.m. was probably not the best time to wake my sleeping Rid-man to discuss our pressure points.

I sat in my chair and thought back over some memories. I remembered the day that Ridley purposed as we headed out on a beautiful day riding in the little red convertible I had at the time. The breeze was blowing in my hair as we held hands while listening to love songs on the radio. Fast forward a little bit and that sports car quickly gets traded in for an SUV with boxes of tissues, fast food remnants, coupons, stacks of "to do" list and other things that make a wall for holding hands. That's ok, I will stretch to hang on to his hand anytime.

One thing I say quite often in our family is to "hold hands and keep the devil out". If I am praying in a group, I will dart across the room just to hold Ridley's hand. If we are praying at a meal, we all hold hands. If we are sitting on the couch, I am probably holding his hand. I like to share my phrase with other couples. Just last week I was encouraging a couple and as I looked down, I noticed they were holding hands. The tears running down both of their faces were reminders of the pressure we all feel at times. I looked at the husband and told him not to let go of her hand because "it keeps the devil out".

I saved my pressure point discussion for later in the day. I made sure I sat close and held my hubby's hand while we talked and shared. In those moments of pressure in life when things can get heavy and distracting, it is so important to stay close as a couple. I really do find that it helps to stay close by holding hands. It means you are in the same room. It means you are either face to face or side by side and not miles apart. There is nothing that makes me feel more safe and security than when Ridley holds my hand. Pressures can pull people apart by nature so dart across the room, hold hands and keep the devil out!

Engaged

Ridley and I are becoming expert travelers. I am learning to pack with a "less is more" mentality. I am learning how to pack a suit without wrinkling and how to get away with only 1 pair of shoes. This is a tough assignment being a female. Then comes the challenge of getting all my favorite hair and skin products in a little bitty travel size. To top it off, I am getting creative with foods that travel well to maintain my clean eating. You would be surprise what a hotel room coffee pot can help you whip up. The sacrifice is worth it. The packing and being away from my kids can be tough, but the reward is unbelievable. It is hard to complain about any of it when I find myself smack dab in the middle of a God plan where He is choosing to use me.

Our most recent trip left my heart overflowing. As we headed out of town, I joked that I was out of words from all the praying about our recent decision to make Ridley Barron Ministries our full time focus. I decided that since Jesus had received almost all of my words, that this go round I would be traveling as a bigger listener. I learned a lot. Many of us (myself included) like to talk. Just because a person is speaking, it doesn't mean they are being listened to. I bet God can understand that better than any of us. I would imagine that was the reminder that Jesus was putting out there when He said, "He who has ears to hear, let him hear." (Matthew 11:15)

Although listening may appear to be easy, it is often hard work. True listening requires you give another person your attention and possibly to change your attitudes as you listen. I found that the more I listened, the more I could relate to people. I am sure that sounds silly and obvious. I typically try to find common ground and relate to people, but this particular time my ears delighted more than usual in conversations. I am blessed by the opportunities to meet all kinds of people from all parts of the country. I find myself watching and waiting for the people that God is going to put in my path. I listen to their stories and at times my heart feels like I can't take them in fast enough. I am intentional about engaging with people. I listen to their accents, their passions, their laughs, their dreams, and their heartaches. With all the texting and Facebook we have, engaging in a real conversation still trumps them all. With technology, I might have missed the conversation with a chef at a cherry orchard roadside cafe. I would have missed meeting a new friend who has a amazing love story of how she met her fiance in Kenya. Engaging takes extra time when you step into a security guard's world or to take steps down a hospital hall of sick children who are coloring with their nurse.

Do you know what my favorite part of listening is? It is when listening breaks down walls or throws judgmental attitudes out. It is when you really listen that you are able to put yourself in someone else's shoes and can love them for who they are and where they are. It elevates levels of appreciation and allows forgiveness to flow. It allows perfect strangers to become instant kindred spirits. The ear has an incredible connection to the heart. Make a choice to open both and engage.