You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence... Psalm 16:11

Monday, August 30, 2010

A Time....

This past weekend just about wiped me out physically and emotionally. Last week was packed with final preparation in getting Morgan ready for college, holding one of my real estate closings together the day before we left town, shuttling a son to all the football demands, losing a dear friend who now is hanging out with Jesus, moving Morgan in her dorm and then returning to serve hot dogs at a local festival with over 6,000 attendees. We topped it all off with an amazing time of worship yesterday!

So as Monday starts, my body is recovering and my heart is still reflecting. I really did not think Morgan heading to college would cause me to think about all the things that have been racing through my head. I knew I would be emotional. I mean I can cry over a commercial. It is family entertainment in my house to watch something on t.v. and then turn to see if mom made it through it. However, the emotions were more than just saying goodbye. As I tried to mix work with my Morgie time, once again the demands of work interrupted our plans. It has always been a tug of war with my heart. Real estate is not defined by an 8 to 5 work day. As I was on the phone and using an attorney's office to hang out with my daughter, she informed me not to worry because "this has always been a part of my life". The whole experience caused me to reflect on the 18 years of raising Morgan and the next 18 or so years ahead with my other three children.

As many know, in the last 18 years I have been divorced twice and married a third time. It is part of my story and the redeeming love of Jesus. Morgan has been through it all with me and yet she has turned out amazing. It is due to the many, many prayers of lots of people including this mom. Those kind of life experiences can make moving to college twice as stressful. Which daddies and mommies are going? Who is doing what? How many introductions and explanations will I have to give? Will everybody get along and not feel weird?

Move in day included me, Ridley, Morgan, her dad and Alex (Morgan and Alex were celebrating one year of dating on move in day). I have always been pleased with the relationship that Morgan's dad and I have had in raising Morgan. As with any divorce, there are difficult things to work out and unselfishness required. It is hard for everybody. So on Saturday we all worked together in an 11 x 11 room with Morgan's new roommate and her family. Things went great. I was so proud of the daddies! A dad and a stepdad working together, laughing, and loving their daughter.

As the day was moving along, I knew saying goodbye was coming. I couldn't wrap my brain around what that was going to look like. We found out there was a parent/student meeting with a 10 minute slot for goodbye before Morgan had a hall meeting. Seriously, 10 minutes? I had been praying for weeks for this time and there were 4 people that needed to say goodbye. I watched a respectable young man who loves my daughter, kiss his girlfriend goodbye and step away so her family could have time. Then I watched a stepdad whisper sweet things with tears in his eyes, as he hung on tight wishing for more time. I watched a dad kiss his little girl goodbye as 18 years flashed before him. I imagine he too was wishing for more time. Then it was my time. I didn't want to make it harder for her so I held her tight, told her I was so proud and I loved her. I knew she wanted some more time with Alex so I told her to feel free to go to his car. As she walked away, I witnessed the sweetest moment I never expected.

Instead of watching my daughter walk away, I watched Ridley step forward and shake Jeff's hand. He thanked Jeff for allowing him to be a part of Morgan's special day. Then Jeff thanked Ridley for the influence he has had on Morgan. He told Ridley that his own stepdad had been a very important part of his life so he knew how important Ridley was in Morgan's life. Then Jeff came and hugged me as he thanked me for raising our daughter so well. It wasn't a time for Morgan to see, but....it was for Morgan. I later thought about Chapter 3 in Ecclesiastes where it says "a time to tear down and a time to build." I am so proud of these daddies. It takes real men to love like that.

There are so many divorced families and so many children caught in the middle. I challenge all the mommies and daddies (biological and step) to love in a way that can build up what has been torn down. Be Jesus to your children!

3 comments:

  1. If there was some way to broadcast this on the network news channels every day for the next month and make sure EVERYone heard it... there would be a lot of kids out there doing a LOT better. Parents sometimes forget how to be adults and it's awesome that these daddies can step up and be an incredible example of maturely loving and putting someone else above yourself. Hugs...

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  2. Thank you!
    as a child of divorce I look back and wish my family got along and wish that I wouldn't have to worry about my wedding, one day, and how to include people. who sits where, can everyone be in the same room together without feeling uncomfortable... it has added unneeded stress that I just wish didn't exist but I now know it a part of my story and life and has made me a better person but I still have my moments when I just breakdown under the stress.

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  3. Thanks Lisa...since the day I met you guys, your story has given me hope. I thank God for you!

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