Today has been one of those days where my heart is super full and overflowing with gratitude. I had the incredible opportunity to share my story last night. I was invited to speak on Kingdom living here on earth to a group of ladies at a local church. The Bible is clear to tell us that we don't have to wait to get to heaven to enjoy being a part of the kingdom. We are sons and daughters of a King! We are to share the Good News and it is called the Good News because it is available here and now....not just for some time to come in the distant future.
That is enough to be grateful for but last night Jesus got out His highlighter and made something so obvious to me. I am blessed with friends. We all have friends and we should recognize them as a gift from God every day. As I stood in front of a room of ladies last night, I saw gifts. Today, I have thought about all the different kinds of friends that God has given me and I have recalled many memories off and on all day.
The gift of my best friend being my husband, still makes me want to pinch myself every morning. I never get tired of being with him and he is the one I want to share something with first.
Then there is the gift of my mom and dad. They are the most incredible, unconditionally-loving friends that have been around the longest. I talk to one or both of them almost every day. I want to!
My taller, younger brother has been my "go to guy" for years. He has been my friend from our hide and seek days to adults sharing parenting stories. He understands me and loves me anyway. (ha ha) I am so proud of who he is as a dad and father.
There is the gift of an 18 year old daughter that makes me feel young again since we often have our best friend, texting relationship. When she was little and I was a single mom, she used to lay beside me in the dark and make me giggle at the end of a tough day. We shared giggles like friends at a sleepover.
I have the gift of my Thelma and Louise. You know. The close friends that you have had forever and will have forever, regardless of circumstances. The ones that have seen all your junk and love you anyway. The ones that have prayed and shared Holy snot together, and then have been around to witness the answered prayers. My BFF's.
There are friends that I haven't seen in the longest and a glimpse of their sweet faces just has us picking right back up where we left off. That was last night for me. So many sweet people that I miss the day to day with.
I am so incredibly blessed to have my PW's. Those are my pastor wife buddies. There is a bond between pastor wives that is amazing. Some I have known for a while and some are brand new. They have a special place in my heart and I believe I am in training to know how to pray for them even better.
My church peeps keep me going. They are the ones that are there week after week to love on me and accept me for who I am. They pray for me and love on my family. That can sure make a girl feel special.
Real estate has been a great place for friendships over the years. I have had such a wonderful opportunity to work with some agents and clients that have really turned into friends. I have co-workers that care about me and I have clients that have been such encouragers to me. I am a lucky girl to have such a great group of people that make me proud to be friends with.
As I spoke last night, I realized that Jesus continues to shower me with friends. We are to love everybody but when He gives you someone new in your life that you just click with, it can really make your heart overflow. His loving never stops. When I got married, I even inherited new friends. They did not have to be my friend, but they chose to and they have taught me so much. Some of those new friends I haven't even met face to face yet and I can tell you, I can't wait to hug their neck in person.
Lastly, but not least at all, are the friends I don't know very well but I feel a connection. They are the name in an email or a kindred spirit in a square box on Facebook that reach out. They are the lonely single mom. They are the broken wife whose husband just left. They are the one asking for prayer for their husband who just lost his job. They are the one with cancer. They are the one with a child who has been sexually abused. They are the ones that give me hope. I love their honesty and I cherish their trust.
I simply want to say thanks to my friends! You have changed me. I need you in my life!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Then Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage...
I think every married couple should attend a wedding once a month. Think about it. A free date where you dress up, everybody's happy, and you get good, free food. I was reminded of so many things last night while attending a rehearsal that Ridley was leading.
The first thing, I admit, was that I felt old and the bride and groom looked way too young to be getting married. Funny how I was old enough when I was their age.
Second, I was reminded that my anniversary is about 20 days away. Three years of being married to the most amazing man! I call him My Amazing and last night I thought about all the things we have crammed into three years of marriage. Lots of great stuff and even some not so great stuff but I chuckled at the thought that God must be making up for lost time with us.
I was reminded of how much I admire my husband. I love him bunches but I truly admire him. As I listened to his prayer last night, he was not only praying for that bride and groom, but for their entire marriage. His respect and compassion for their special day, family and friends was so evident. He knows how to walk into a room of strangers and make everyone feel special.
His smile lights up a room and this girl still melts when her husband looks at her across the room, winks and makes her feel like the only person there.
I was reminded how important it is for a man and woman to let God do His thing. To wait on Him to find the right person. To allow Him to be in the center of everything your marriage is about. To obey Him so He can show off through what He joined together. I reflected on the weddings and the marriages I have been a part of that didn't have anything to do with God. I realized I didn't even invite Him. The ceremonies were beautiful and sweet but I didn't let God do His thing. However, when I did let Him do His thing - WOW! The ceremony was simple but one of the sweetest moments in my life because I allowed God to be a part of everything that led up to that day. The day I became Mrs. Barron, I felt God love all over me.
I then was reminded of our children. I began to picture their wedding days. I instantly began praying for them as I often do. Ridley and I pray for all their future spouses. I began to pray for all that would be involved on those special days. With blended families, special events can be a bit more complicated. I am not sure I have ever prayed for that particular part of their future until last night. I prayed for Harrison and thought about whether Ridley would be the best man or the preacher. By that point, I was in my own world reflecting and praying.
Last night was sweet for me. Those moments to sit and forget about bills, jobs, laundry, etc. It was sweet to ride to dinner in the truck laughing and remembering. I wouldn't trade the last three years for anything. I wish time would slow down....selfishly.
In my quiet time this morning I read a sweet verse from The Message that depicted my thoughts last night.
Love is invincible facing danger and death.
Passion laughs at the terrors of hell.
The fire of love stops at nothing—
it sweeps everything before it.
Flood waters can't drown love,
torrents of rain can't put it out.
Love can't be bought, love can't be sold.
Song of Solomon 8: 6-8
The first thing, I admit, was that I felt old and the bride and groom looked way too young to be getting married. Funny how I was old enough when I was their age.
Second, I was reminded that my anniversary is about 20 days away. Three years of being married to the most amazing man! I call him My Amazing and last night I thought about all the things we have crammed into three years of marriage. Lots of great stuff and even some not so great stuff but I chuckled at the thought that God must be making up for lost time with us.
I was reminded of how much I admire my husband. I love him bunches but I truly admire him. As I listened to his prayer last night, he was not only praying for that bride and groom, but for their entire marriage. His respect and compassion for their special day, family and friends was so evident. He knows how to walk into a room of strangers and make everyone feel special.
His smile lights up a room and this girl still melts when her husband looks at her across the room, winks and makes her feel like the only person there.
I was reminded how important it is for a man and woman to let God do His thing. To wait on Him to find the right person. To allow Him to be in the center of everything your marriage is about. To obey Him so He can show off through what He joined together. I reflected on the weddings and the marriages I have been a part of that didn't have anything to do with God. I realized I didn't even invite Him. The ceremonies were beautiful and sweet but I didn't let God do His thing. However, when I did let Him do His thing - WOW! The ceremony was simple but one of the sweetest moments in my life because I allowed God to be a part of everything that led up to that day. The day I became Mrs. Barron, I felt God love all over me.
I then was reminded of our children. I began to picture their wedding days. I instantly began praying for them as I often do. Ridley and I pray for all their future spouses. I began to pray for all that would be involved on those special days. With blended families, special events can be a bit more complicated. I am not sure I have ever prayed for that particular part of their future until last night. I prayed for Harrison and thought about whether Ridley would be the best man or the preacher. By that point, I was in my own world reflecting and praying.
Last night was sweet for me. Those moments to sit and forget about bills, jobs, laundry, etc. It was sweet to ride to dinner in the truck laughing and remembering. I wouldn't trade the last three years for anything. I wish time would slow down....selfishly.
In my quiet time this morning I read a sweet verse from The Message that depicted my thoughts last night.
Love is invincible facing danger and death.
Passion laughs at the terrors of hell.
The fire of love stops at nothing—
it sweeps everything before it.
Flood waters can't drown love,
torrents of rain can't put it out.
Love can't be bought, love can't be sold.
Song of Solomon 8: 6-8
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
The Creeps
I often get the creeps! I am referring to the things that creep into my life that cause my faith and my walk to waiver. It can be something really big and devastating or I find it can sometimes be the little small things that catch me off guard. The more I get the creeps, the more I try to figure out and plan ahead for when the next ones are coming. The truth is, that kind of mindset has me focused on my own abilities (or the lack of) instead of focusing on God's power.
I love my Jesus but some days I wonder if it really shows. I wonder if people who are a part of my day hear the overflow of my heart and THEY get the creeps. I hit the ground running every morning and literally don't stop until late night. I can tell you I have the greatest intentions as I face each new day. I wake up praying with my husband, eating my oatmeal, taking my vitamins, having my quiet time and it isn't too long before I find myself accessorizing with overwhelmness. (is that a word?) Midway through the day, I find that my actions aren't lining up with my initial intentions.
There are lots of people I talk to that feel life is weighing heavy and they are tired of feeling overwhelmed. The unexpected keeps finding its way into our lives and catches us off guard. The creeps can come from a harsh word from a loved one that makes our stomach sick and the next thing you know, your whole attitude is affected. Doubt can creep in with an unexpected bill and the root of all evil has us depressed and afraid. Emotional pain can cause us to react with vengeful actions. We can let people into our lives and they disappoint us so we build walls. All these feelings are real and yet we find ourselves disappointment at the end of the day. Creepy!
Sometimes when the day is just about over, I reflect and wonder if I did more performing than praying. I evaluate where the "ways of this world" have rubbed off on me instead of me rubbing off on the world. If I reflect on my past, I can see areas of my life where the creeps were much bigger and I think I probably handled them better. So if I am growing in Christ, what's the deal?
Nobody has all the answers. I tend to think that it has a lot to do with our focus minute by minute. Jesus has impossible things to ask of us. We can't do it on our own. If we are oriented according to our culture or our own interest, we can not live out the Gospel. If we are committed to ourselves, we will not be able to hear from God and take action based on faith, hope and love. This is why we are commanded in His Word to DIE TO SELF daily. (Luke 9:23-24). Let's be honest, giving our WHOLE selves to Christ is really hard. Yet, we rob ourselves of the blessings and peace that can come with that kind of surrender. God has this race for us to run. We may get cramps and the creeps along the way, but the end is so worth it. We shouldn't settle for making it to the starting line. We need to run like we mean it. We must pull away from our own priorities and desires. We have to make the difficult decisions.
I am speaking next Tuesday night to a group of approximately 200 ladies about this very thing. I need your help. I need to know what gives you the creeps? What really tests your faith and your walk? Let's run together and help each other along the way.
I love my Jesus but some days I wonder if it really shows. I wonder if people who are a part of my day hear the overflow of my heart and THEY get the creeps. I hit the ground running every morning and literally don't stop until late night. I can tell you I have the greatest intentions as I face each new day. I wake up praying with my husband, eating my oatmeal, taking my vitamins, having my quiet time and it isn't too long before I find myself accessorizing with overwhelmness. (is that a word?) Midway through the day, I find that my actions aren't lining up with my initial intentions.
There are lots of people I talk to that feel life is weighing heavy and they are tired of feeling overwhelmed. The unexpected keeps finding its way into our lives and catches us off guard. The creeps can come from a harsh word from a loved one that makes our stomach sick and the next thing you know, your whole attitude is affected. Doubt can creep in with an unexpected bill and the root of all evil has us depressed and afraid. Emotional pain can cause us to react with vengeful actions. We can let people into our lives and they disappoint us so we build walls. All these feelings are real and yet we find ourselves disappointment at the end of the day. Creepy!
Sometimes when the day is just about over, I reflect and wonder if I did more performing than praying. I evaluate where the "ways of this world" have rubbed off on me instead of me rubbing off on the world. If I reflect on my past, I can see areas of my life where the creeps were much bigger and I think I probably handled them better. So if I am growing in Christ, what's the deal?
Nobody has all the answers. I tend to think that it has a lot to do with our focus minute by minute. Jesus has impossible things to ask of us. We can't do it on our own. If we are oriented according to our culture or our own interest, we can not live out the Gospel. If we are committed to ourselves, we will not be able to hear from God and take action based on faith, hope and love. This is why we are commanded in His Word to DIE TO SELF daily. (Luke 9:23-24). Let's be honest, giving our WHOLE selves to Christ is really hard. Yet, we rob ourselves of the blessings and peace that can come with that kind of surrender. God has this race for us to run. We may get cramps and the creeps along the way, but the end is so worth it. We shouldn't settle for making it to the starting line. We need to run like we mean it. We must pull away from our own priorities and desires. We have to make the difficult decisions.
I am speaking next Tuesday night to a group of approximately 200 ladies about this very thing. I need your help. I need to know what gives you the creeps? What really tests your faith and your walk? Let's run together and help each other along the way.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Satan in a Box
Can I just admit that I think the television is Satan in a box? I can hear Ridley now saying that is a bit extreme. This past week we have had the second week of home repairs due to the recent flood. We have had workers in and out every day. No sleeping late and no running around in pajamas. One particular repair required the flat screen t.v. to be taken off the wall. This was shortly after removing another television in the house as a result of our conviction to simplify. That has been on our heart for some time and we are slowing removing the "wood, hay and stubble". (1Corinthians 3:12)
So, we are down to 2 televisions for the 6 of us and 1 is in our bedroom. You would think we have asked our children to cut off one of their limbs. Me? I have never been a big t.v. watcher except for sports. I honestly think part of it was that in the past, my house was noisy and a "walk on eggshells" environment. I can assure you, when I was married before, I did not need to watch Lifetime where the wives were having their husbands taken out. I loved to listen to music and found that listening to worship music helped me to be more responsible and focused with my thoughts.
Now if I watch television, it is to sit next to my sweet husband, but we continue to be amazed at the junk that pops up on t.v. I am also amazed at what my kids try to revolve their schedules around. Notice I said "try to". We monitor what our kids watch and we do not allow t.v.'s in their bedrooms. When they do watch t.v., they look like zombies and we never see them. They used to split up in every corner of the house (where there was a t.v.) and hibernate.
Well, with only 2 televisions I got a little excited that our family might be able to have more conversations and play games or something else. It has backfired on me. Ha ha.... The kids are now all piled in my bed late at night and a few of them even choose to drool over the food commercials or Man vs. Food while commenting that "mom never lets us eat that".
I got to thinking about what it would have been like if there were t.v.'s back in Jesus' time. Imagine the disciples telling Jesus to hang on before feeding the 5,000 because they needed to watch the Food Network first. I doubt that Rahab needed to watch Say Yes to the Robe. Can you picture Zacchaeus watching Repo Man? I do know that all the girls would have gotten a rose from Jesus because he didn't play favorites.
I do love a good football game and i enjoy watching some of the HGTV shows every now and then. I guess I am just becoming more and more aware of how evil can creep into our lives. Our sinful nature has a strong enough pull all on its own. Plus, Psalms 101:3 says "I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless". Enough said!
So, we are down to 2 televisions for the 6 of us and 1 is in our bedroom. You would think we have asked our children to cut off one of their limbs. Me? I have never been a big t.v. watcher except for sports. I honestly think part of it was that in the past, my house was noisy and a "walk on eggshells" environment. I can assure you, when I was married before, I did not need to watch Lifetime where the wives were having their husbands taken out. I loved to listen to music and found that listening to worship music helped me to be more responsible and focused with my thoughts.
Now if I watch television, it is to sit next to my sweet husband, but we continue to be amazed at the junk that pops up on t.v. I am also amazed at what my kids try to revolve their schedules around. Notice I said "try to". We monitor what our kids watch and we do not allow t.v.'s in their bedrooms. When they do watch t.v., they look like zombies and we never see them. They used to split up in every corner of the house (where there was a t.v.) and hibernate.
Well, with only 2 televisions I got a little excited that our family might be able to have more conversations and play games or something else. It has backfired on me. Ha ha.... The kids are now all piled in my bed late at night and a few of them even choose to drool over the food commercials or Man vs. Food while commenting that "mom never lets us eat that".
I got to thinking about what it would have been like if there were t.v.'s back in Jesus' time. Imagine the disciples telling Jesus to hang on before feeding the 5,000 because they needed to watch the Food Network first. I doubt that Rahab needed to watch Say Yes to the Robe. Can you picture Zacchaeus watching Repo Man? I do know that all the girls would have gotten a rose from Jesus because he didn't play favorites.
I do love a good football game and i enjoy watching some of the HGTV shows every now and then. I guess I am just becoming more and more aware of how evil can creep into our lives. Our sinful nature has a strong enough pull all on its own. Plus, Psalms 101:3 says "I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless". Enough said!
Monday, June 14, 2010
My Name
It is so exciting to get a gift that is monogrammed. I remember when I got married the first time, I got luggage that had my new initials on them. I also got a set of drinking glasses with my new last name initial. Then came the divorce and those items became reminders. So when I got married again, I was given a really nice robe with my new initials. Out with the old and in with the new. Then came another divorce. I was suddenly not a big fan of monogrammed items. I felt like the 80's artist, Prince. I was going to go on a first name basis only.
After my second divorce, I struggled with who I was and what name I should use. I thought about going back to my original name to honor my parents. Then I thought about my girls and how at that moment, three of us living together would all have different last names. That was a profound moment for me. I was faced with my failures every time I filled out a form for school or a doctor's office. As secretaries and office managers looked at the form and then looked at me, I wanted to immediately reply, "I'm the mother".
Shortly after my second divorce the girls and I moved. The house I chose had this great sunroom overlooking a pool. We called it our Son-room as we all three designated it our special place for quiet times. It was in that room that I was reminded we are daughters of the King. As my girlfriend, Terra always says, we are royalty. Peace and security came over to visit that day in my Sonroom. I invited them to stay.
Since that day, I have met and married the most amazing man. He has given me the incredible opportunity to visit another letter in the alphabet. He has given me a whole lot more than that, but I proudly write Barron every chance I get. I did a really great job of marketing myself in real estate with my old name, so it has been a hard transition for some people. There are still slip ups here and there, but it doesn't bother me. After we got married, I even had a hard time remembering. There was a day that I recall trying to figure out what to take to a church event when A through M was supposed to bring something salty and N through Z was something sweet. Ridley must have seen me thinking because he said "Baby, you are a B and that isn't going to change."
There are days I still try to grasp who I am. Now as a pastor's wife, a mother of four, a working girl, a friend, a daughter, a stranger and more, I can rest with my friends, peace and security knowing that first and foremost, I am a daughter of this incredible King. He has probably had to use some white out in The Lambs Book of Life, but as my last name has changed, His love hasn't.
On days when I still face reminders and struggles of my past, I do whatever it takes to battle the lies and claim the truths. One way I do that is to listen to Travis Cottrell. That man can sing and his voice just makes the devil run! His song "You Changed My Name", is my favorite running song and it gets my day off to a great start. I absolutely LOVE this song!! Add it to your playlist and sing it as loud as you can, proclaiming that you have the coolest name when you belong to Jesus. Here are a few of the lyrics:
"Who I was before, doesn't matter anymore. You changed my name. You called me Forgiven. You changed my name. You called me Redeemed. You took my shame and wrote a new beginning to the story I was living and I will never be the same. You saw what I could be and reaching out for me.....You changed my name!"
Thank you Travis for this song and thank you Jesus for a name that I can be proud of!
After my second divorce, I struggled with who I was and what name I should use. I thought about going back to my original name to honor my parents. Then I thought about my girls and how at that moment, three of us living together would all have different last names. That was a profound moment for me. I was faced with my failures every time I filled out a form for school or a doctor's office. As secretaries and office managers looked at the form and then looked at me, I wanted to immediately reply, "I'm the mother".
Shortly after my second divorce the girls and I moved. The house I chose had this great sunroom overlooking a pool. We called it our Son-room as we all three designated it our special place for quiet times. It was in that room that I was reminded we are daughters of the King. As my girlfriend, Terra always says, we are royalty. Peace and security came over to visit that day in my Sonroom. I invited them to stay.
Since that day, I have met and married the most amazing man. He has given me the incredible opportunity to visit another letter in the alphabet. He has given me a whole lot more than that, but I proudly write Barron every chance I get. I did a really great job of marketing myself in real estate with my old name, so it has been a hard transition for some people. There are still slip ups here and there, but it doesn't bother me. After we got married, I even had a hard time remembering. There was a day that I recall trying to figure out what to take to a church event when A through M was supposed to bring something salty and N through Z was something sweet. Ridley must have seen me thinking because he said "Baby, you are a B and that isn't going to change."
There are days I still try to grasp who I am. Now as a pastor's wife, a mother of four, a working girl, a friend, a daughter, a stranger and more, I can rest with my friends, peace and security knowing that first and foremost, I am a daughter of this incredible King. He has probably had to use some white out in The Lambs Book of Life, but as my last name has changed, His love hasn't.
On days when I still face reminders and struggles of my past, I do whatever it takes to battle the lies and claim the truths. One way I do that is to listen to Travis Cottrell. That man can sing and his voice just makes the devil run! His song "You Changed My Name", is my favorite running song and it gets my day off to a great start. I absolutely LOVE this song!! Add it to your playlist and sing it as loud as you can, proclaiming that you have the coolest name when you belong to Jesus. Here are a few of the lyrics:
"Who I was before, doesn't matter anymore. You changed my name. You called me Forgiven. You changed my name. You called me Redeemed. You took my shame and wrote a new beginning to the story I was living and I will never be the same. You saw what I could be and reaching out for me.....You changed my name!"
Thank you Travis for this song and thank you Jesus for a name that I can be proud of!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
The Hero in our Husbands
Heros.... What do you think of first? Action figures, Hollywood movies, blue and red tights? Ahhhh, the images of the world. Super men with super powers. A super lie! As women, we have to be careful with our expectations of our men. Expectations are not bad, but they do need to be realistic. Whether it is a love story concocted by Hollywood or a foil cover novel in the Harlequin romance series, our expectations can be easily influenced. One of my favorite statements of "junk in -junk out" applies here too. Let's get real.
I thought about it last night when my oldest daughter's face lit up as she talked about her and her boyfriend's decision to start praying together. She said she heard him pray last night and it was....."cute". I have to admit, it is super sexy to me, when I hear my husband pray. I love to hear his compassion for people, the desires of his heart, his specific prayers for our children, the request for our parents, the humbleness to be used as a leader in church, etc. Let me tell you though, it still gives me chicken skin to hear him pray for my specific needs without even telling him what they are. I love that he watches me, listens to me, and believes in me so that he knows how to pray for me. Just the other day we were on the phone and before I hung up Ridley said, "let's pray about this together before you hang up". If you have heard our story, you know he asked to pray with me two steps inside my foyer on our first date. It was the sweetest moment that Jesus could have given me as a single mom and spiritual leader for my two girls.
Now, before you find yourself ranting and raving that your husband doesn't do that for you, my question would be, "Have you made it easy for him to do that?" Are you praying for your husband to recognize certain areas where he could be a stronger leader or are you fussing that he hasn't opened his Bible by 7:30 a.m.? Do you welcome him home with open arms, regardless of his mood or do you greet him with an open mouth cutting him down? Do you encourage him and make him feel important or are you focused on controlling him to get your way?
It can be easy to fall into negative behavior as we juggle the many responsibilities in a day. I can easily let myself go there but I have to keep praying for awareness and a change in my attitude and thoughts. Our husbands need us to support them, not protect them. They need us to believe in them and not point out all their faults. Instead, brag on him in front of others. Find a reason to send your kids his way for answers about something. Call and ask his opinion before you make a decision that affects both of you. Heck, be bold and wash his feet while you pray over him out loud. You might feel silly but I promise Jesus will bless that time.
Now guys, take some notes....it isn't the really big stuff that wipes us off our feet. It is the little random, non holiday, moments that make our knees weak and our hearts goes crazy. Be spontaneous. Laugh and be silly. Take time to notice. Say sweet things even if we don't deserve them in that moment. Psalm 19:14 says, "may the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord." It is a heart thing and a mouth thing for both husbands and wives.
I love to do whatever I can (most of the time - ha) to make my hubby smile. He has the cutest smile and my little efforts are worth every bit of my time when he enjoys being around me and wants to be with me. He makes me smile when he U-turns in the middle of an intersection to take me back to an organic super market while out of town. I will sit and try to memorize the Braves players just to have that interest to talk about. He will actually light my candles and leave them lit when I am headed home from work. (he used to blow them out all the time)
Ridley is my first ministry. God has trusted me with him and I want to live out my thank you. There are days I don't always feel like it but I find that Psalm 19:14 has great advice. The meditation of my heart is where it all starts.
I thought about it last night when my oldest daughter's face lit up as she talked about her and her boyfriend's decision to start praying together. She said she heard him pray last night and it was....."cute". I have to admit, it is super sexy to me, when I hear my husband pray. I love to hear his compassion for people, the desires of his heart, his specific prayers for our children, the request for our parents, the humbleness to be used as a leader in church, etc. Let me tell you though, it still gives me chicken skin to hear him pray for my specific needs without even telling him what they are. I love that he watches me, listens to me, and believes in me so that he knows how to pray for me. Just the other day we were on the phone and before I hung up Ridley said, "let's pray about this together before you hang up". If you have heard our story, you know he asked to pray with me two steps inside my foyer on our first date. It was the sweetest moment that Jesus could have given me as a single mom and spiritual leader for my two girls.
Now, before you find yourself ranting and raving that your husband doesn't do that for you, my question would be, "Have you made it easy for him to do that?" Are you praying for your husband to recognize certain areas where he could be a stronger leader or are you fussing that he hasn't opened his Bible by 7:30 a.m.? Do you welcome him home with open arms, regardless of his mood or do you greet him with an open mouth cutting him down? Do you encourage him and make him feel important or are you focused on controlling him to get your way?
It can be easy to fall into negative behavior as we juggle the many responsibilities in a day. I can easily let myself go there but I have to keep praying for awareness and a change in my attitude and thoughts. Our husbands need us to support them, not protect them. They need us to believe in them and not point out all their faults. Instead, brag on him in front of others. Find a reason to send your kids his way for answers about something. Call and ask his opinion before you make a decision that affects both of you. Heck, be bold and wash his feet while you pray over him out loud. You might feel silly but I promise Jesus will bless that time.
Now guys, take some notes....it isn't the really big stuff that wipes us off our feet. It is the little random, non holiday, moments that make our knees weak and our hearts goes crazy. Be spontaneous. Laugh and be silly. Take time to notice. Say sweet things even if we don't deserve them in that moment. Psalm 19:14 says, "may the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord." It is a heart thing and a mouth thing for both husbands and wives.
I love to do whatever I can (most of the time - ha) to make my hubby smile. He has the cutest smile and my little efforts are worth every bit of my time when he enjoys being around me and wants to be with me. He makes me smile when he U-turns in the middle of an intersection to take me back to an organic super market while out of town. I will sit and try to memorize the Braves players just to have that interest to talk about. He will actually light my candles and leave them lit when I am headed home from work. (he used to blow them out all the time)
Ridley is my first ministry. God has trusted me with him and I want to live out my thank you. There are days I don't always feel like it but I find that Psalm 19:14 has great advice. The meditation of my heart is where it all starts.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Fear
My past divorce continues to give me opportunities to minister to others and allows Jesus to continue to heal and teach me. I love how He can use us, even in the middle of our own learning. Fear can creep into our lives in many ways, but as a divorced parent, it seems to creep in through loving our children. I experienced one of those last week. I will try to share my story as honestly as I can while maintaining respect for those involved.
When divorce occurs, parents must create a document that lays out the details of the child's entire life from that point forward. It is called a Parenting Plan and once in writing, a court can make sure you follow every detail of it. To me, this is crazy! What parent, divorced or not, can look into the future and know exactly how to plan, provide and protect their child. Combine that demand with unstable emotions and the pressure is on! It is ironic that the best plan for a child with divorced parents, is for those parents to partner together for the well being of their child. Why couldn't they do that in the first place? There is a great need for forgiveness and no room for selfishness.
It is a house rule at the Barron's that we will always speak kindly of the parents that are not a part of our household. Some days that is difficult and requires a lot of prayer. Last week when we received an email, I knew their wasn't anything I could do to protect my daughter. A fear I haven't felt in quite some time wiped over me. I immediately wanted to cancel my entire day just to sit and pray through the uncertainty. It didn't help to hear my daughter say through tears, "My heart is only 11 years old and it can't take this."
My journal notes say it best..."Uncertainty demands faith, not fear." I had a hard time regaining composure. It is one thing when the attacks come on us as the adults, but when life is unfair on our children, remembering Romans 12:19 is a must! "Vengeance belongs to me, I will repay, says the Lord". So when I say uncertainty demands faith, I mean we have a choice. It doesn't have to come instantly but it must be the desire of your heart. Ask God to increase your faith during those moments and to wipe away the fear. Do you know what He is capable of? He does just what you would want a daddy to do. He will give you a kiss and make it all better. He doesn't necessarily make the situation better but He makes you and I better able to handle the difficulty.
In my weak moment that day, I opened a daily devotional email that I get. I could only see the title "EVEN THIS". I knew God was about to be personal for me as I immediately read on. When I scrolled past the title, the verse at the top of the page instantly made me feel better. Genesis 50:21 comforted me with "So then, don't be afraid. I will provide for you and your children." I clung to the words "I will provide". That is a broad statement from a big God! That means I didn't have to think of everything my child would face after divorce because God will provide for her no matter what. He loves her even more than I do.
I was able to sit down with my daughter and show her how in her fearful moments and in mine too, that God loves us and His Word is full of promises. Let's teach our kids that! Don't let them walk around with a fear that you and I can't always wipe away. Give them the security of God's loving promises by opening The Word even when you don't feel like it. That Genesis verse starts out with "So then". I went back and read the verse before it and smiled at the reminder of the familiar words that comforted me several years ago in uncertainty. Verse 20 says "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good". ""so then, DON'T BE AFRAID. I WILL provide for YOU and YOUR CHILDREN".
My daughter and I have been quoting that verse at times together to encourage one another and to feel safe in God's Parenting Plan for all of us. Let Him give you rest and peace in the uncertainty.
When divorce occurs, parents must create a document that lays out the details of the child's entire life from that point forward. It is called a Parenting Plan and once in writing, a court can make sure you follow every detail of it. To me, this is crazy! What parent, divorced or not, can look into the future and know exactly how to plan, provide and protect their child. Combine that demand with unstable emotions and the pressure is on! It is ironic that the best plan for a child with divorced parents, is for those parents to partner together for the well being of their child. Why couldn't they do that in the first place? There is a great need for forgiveness and no room for selfishness.
It is a house rule at the Barron's that we will always speak kindly of the parents that are not a part of our household. Some days that is difficult and requires a lot of prayer. Last week when we received an email, I knew their wasn't anything I could do to protect my daughter. A fear I haven't felt in quite some time wiped over me. I immediately wanted to cancel my entire day just to sit and pray through the uncertainty. It didn't help to hear my daughter say through tears, "My heart is only 11 years old and it can't take this."
My journal notes say it best..."Uncertainty demands faith, not fear." I had a hard time regaining composure. It is one thing when the attacks come on us as the adults, but when life is unfair on our children, remembering Romans 12:19 is a must! "Vengeance belongs to me, I will repay, says the Lord". So when I say uncertainty demands faith, I mean we have a choice. It doesn't have to come instantly but it must be the desire of your heart. Ask God to increase your faith during those moments and to wipe away the fear. Do you know what He is capable of? He does just what you would want a daddy to do. He will give you a kiss and make it all better. He doesn't necessarily make the situation better but He makes you and I better able to handle the difficulty.
In my weak moment that day, I opened a daily devotional email that I get. I could only see the title "EVEN THIS". I knew God was about to be personal for me as I immediately read on. When I scrolled past the title, the verse at the top of the page instantly made me feel better. Genesis 50:21 comforted me with "So then, don't be afraid. I will provide for you and your children." I clung to the words "I will provide". That is a broad statement from a big God! That means I didn't have to think of everything my child would face after divorce because God will provide for her no matter what. He loves her even more than I do.
I was able to sit down with my daughter and show her how in her fearful moments and in mine too, that God loves us and His Word is full of promises. Let's teach our kids that! Don't let them walk around with a fear that you and I can't always wipe away. Give them the security of God's loving promises by opening The Word even when you don't feel like it. That Genesis verse starts out with "So then". I went back and read the verse before it and smiled at the reminder of the familiar words that comforted me several years ago in uncertainty. Verse 20 says "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good". ""so then, DON'T BE AFRAID. I WILL provide for YOU and YOUR CHILDREN".
My daughter and I have been quoting that verse at times together to encourage one another and to feel safe in God's Parenting Plan for all of us. Let Him give you rest and peace in the uncertainty.
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