The Hero in our Husbands

Heros.... What do you think of first? Action figures, Hollywood movies, blue and red tights? Ahhhh, the images of the world. Super men with super powers. A super lie! As women, we have to be careful with our expectations of our men. Expectations are not bad, but they do need to be realistic. Whether it is a love story concocted by Hollywood or a foil cover novel in the Harlequin romance series, our expectations can be easily influenced. One of my favorite statements of "junk in -junk out" applies here too. Let's get real.

I thought about it last night when my oldest daughter's face lit up as she talked about her and her boyfriend's decision to start praying together. She said she heard him pray last night and it was....."cute". I have to admit, it is super sexy to me, when I hear my husband pray. I love to hear his compassion for people, the desires of his heart, his specific prayers for our children, the request for our parents, the humbleness to be used as a leader in church, etc. Let me tell you though, it still gives me chicken skin to hear him pray for my specific needs without even telling him what they are. I love that he watches me, listens to me, and believes in me so that he knows how to pray for me. Just the other day we were on the phone and before I hung up Ridley said, "let's pray about this together before you hang up". If you have heard our story, you know he asked to pray with me two steps inside my foyer on our first date. It was the sweetest moment that Jesus could have given me as a single mom and spiritual leader for my two girls.

Now, before you find yourself ranting and raving that your husband doesn't do that for you, my question would be, "Have you made it easy for him to do that?" Are you praying for your husband to recognize certain areas where he could be a stronger leader or are you fussing that he hasn't opened his Bible by 7:30 a.m.? Do you welcome him home with open arms, regardless of his mood or do you greet him with an open mouth cutting him down? Do you encourage him and make him feel important or are you focused on controlling him to get your way?

It can be easy to fall into negative behavior as we juggle the many responsibilities in a day. I can easily let myself go there but I have to keep praying for awareness and a change in my attitude and thoughts. Our husbands need us to support them, not protect them. They need us to believe in them and not point out all their faults. Instead, brag on him in front of others. Find a reason to send your kids his way for answers about something. Call and ask his opinion before you make a decision that affects both of you. Heck, be bold and wash his feet while you pray over him out loud. You might feel silly but I promise Jesus will bless that time.

Now guys, take some notes....it isn't the really big stuff that wipes us off our feet. It is the little random, non holiday, moments that make our knees weak and our hearts goes crazy. Be spontaneous. Laugh and be silly. Take time to notice. Say sweet things even if we don't deserve them in that moment. Psalm 19:14 says, "may the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord." It is a heart thing and a mouth thing for both husbands and wives.

I love to do whatever I can (most of the time - ha) to make my hubby smile. He has the cutest smile and my little efforts are worth every bit of my time when he enjoys being around me and wants to be with me. He makes me smile when he U-turns in the middle of an intersection to take me back to an organic super market while out of town. I will sit and try to memorize the Braves players just to have that interest to talk about. He will actually light my candles and leave them lit when I am headed home from work. (he used to blow them out all the time)

Ridley is my first ministry. God has trusted me with him and I want to live out my thank you. There are days I don't always feel like it but I find that Psalm 19:14 has great advice. The meditation of my heart is where it all starts.