Fear

My past divorce continues to give me opportunities to minister to others and allows Jesus to continue to heal and teach me. I love how He can use us, even in the middle of our own learning. Fear can creep into our lives in many ways, but as a divorced parent, it seems to creep in through loving our children. I experienced one of those last week. I will try to share my story as honestly as I can while maintaining respect for those involved.

When divorce occurs, parents must create a document that lays out the details of the child's entire life from that point forward. It is called a Parenting Plan and once in writing, a court can make sure you follow every detail of it. To me, this is crazy! What parent, divorced or not, can look into the future and know exactly how to plan, provide and protect their child. Combine that demand with unstable emotions and the pressure is on! It is ironic that the best plan for a child with divorced parents, is for those parents to partner together for the well being of their child. Why couldn't they do that in the first place? There is a great need for forgiveness and no room for selfishness.

It is a house rule at the Barron's that we will always speak kindly of the parents that are not a part of our household. Some days that is difficult and requires a lot of prayer. Last week when we received an email, I knew their wasn't anything I could do to protect my daughter. A fear I haven't felt in quite some time wiped over me. I immediately wanted to cancel my entire day just to sit and pray through the uncertainty. It didn't help to hear my daughter say through tears, "My heart is only 11 years old and it can't take this."

My journal notes say it best..."Uncertainty demands faith, not fear." I had a hard time regaining composure. It is one thing when the attacks come on us as the adults, but when life is unfair on our children, remembering Romans 12:19 is a must! "Vengeance belongs to me, I will repay, says the Lord". So when I say uncertainty demands faith, I mean we have a choice. It doesn't have to come instantly but it must be the desire of your heart. Ask God to increase your faith during those moments and to wipe away the fear. Do you know what He is capable of? He does just what you would want a daddy to do. He will give you a kiss and make it all better. He doesn't necessarily make the situation better but He makes you and I better able to handle the difficulty.

In my weak moment that day, I opened a daily devotional email that I get. I could only see the title "EVEN THIS". I knew God was about to be personal for me as I immediately read on. When I scrolled past the title, the verse at the top of the page instantly made me feel better. Genesis 50:21 comforted me with "So then, don't be afraid. I will provide for you and your children." I clung to the words "I will provide". That is a broad statement from a big God! That means I didn't have to think of everything my child would face after divorce because God will provide for her no matter what. He loves her even more than I do.

I was able to sit down with my daughter and show her how in her fearful moments and in mine too, that God loves us and His Word is full of promises. Let's teach our kids that! Don't let them walk around with a fear that you and I can't always wipe away. Give them the security of God's loving promises by opening The Word even when you don't feel like it. That Genesis verse starts out with "So then". I went back and read the verse before it and smiled at the reminder of the familiar words that comforted me several years ago in uncertainty. Verse 20 says "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good". ""so then, DON'T BE AFRAID. I WILL provide for YOU and YOUR CHILDREN".

My daughter and I have been quoting that verse at times together to encourage one another and to feel safe in God's Parenting Plan for all of us. Let Him give you rest and peace in the uncertainty.