New Triggers

Most of the time if you hear me talk about "triggers", they are the things that slap me in the face and take me back to parts of my past that remind me of hurt. I can't stand them. They oftentimes hit me right between the eyes and trickle down to my heart.

Yesterday was a nice change for me. I had good, fun triggers and I bet you will never guess where I was and what I was doing when I got hit with them unexpectedly. I was at the nursing home helping my parents move my grandmother into a new (smaller) room. I am not a big fan of the place. It will quickly bring you to the reality that life goes by fast and we have no control over it. The sights, sounds and smells can be depressing. My grandmother has dementia and to ease my pain for her, I try to remind myself that she isn't remembering the sights, sounds and smells. The smell of cafeteria food has replaced the wonderful smells that tickled my nose in my grandmother's kitchen. The sounds of her fussing at my grandfather for eating too many sweets has been replaced by the motor sounds of wheelchairs and moaning of her hall friends. My energetic grandma who never sat down, now sits all the time.

My mom and dad are living out the Bible in the way they love my grandmother. Ephesians 6:2 is a familiar passage. "Honor your father and mother". We often refer to that verse when we want to beat the stuffings out of our children. As adult children, my parents are still honoring their mothers and fathers. My mom and dad are two of the most unselfish people I know and I have the incredible opportunity to be "trained up in the way I should go" by watching them. (Proverbs 22:6) Their way of loving and caring for their family is a result of my grandparents' training and raising of their children. It is a cycle and a reminder.

So as I made the drive to the nursing home, I found myself excited. That was odd. I realized it was my turn to contribute, give back, love and serve my family. A time to honor my father and mother. I helped to set up her new room and I believe my recent "extreme dorm makeover" for Morgan had me prepared for the challenge. The new, smaller room for my grandmother actually ended up working out great and felt nicer. The new wing of the building that actually gets a more negative label, actually had the most loving and wonderful group of people that were excited and ready to play wheelchair kickball with my grandmother.

Grandma wasn't there yesterday. We sent her on a family field trip for the day so she wouldn't be so nervous and confused. I hung up shirts that I remember my grandma wearing on certain occasions, I got to arrange old familiar pictures, I rummaged through old jewelry and remembered admiring it as a young girl while in church holding her hand. My grandma always had lotion and put it on my hands. I recalled how soft her hands always were as I lined up her lotions in her new bathroom. My mom, dad and I actually had a fun time getting her room in order. We even laughed as the exit doors are painted like bookcases so the residents don't try to escape. I couldn't find my way out. Ha ha!. It ended up being a sweet day of going down memory lane.

As I left yesterday, I passed through the lobby that smelt like Fall. The smell of pumpkin combined with the soft music and a plate of warm chocolate chip cookies for guest, made me smile. I felt good about my grandma's new home. I drove home thinking about making memories with my family. The simple kind like looking at pictures, dancing to music, cooking in the kitchen or playing board games. I don't think running around crazy and buying my kids "stuff" are the kind of memories that will stick around.

Do something to honor your father or mother. Do something to honor someone else's father or mother. Train your children up to appreciate family and the elderly. Take a day and just love on someone, not because it is on your to do list or because it will pay a bill. Just do it to be a blessing and to be blessed.