I wasn't going to put myself as one of the interviews in this blog series. I didn't think asking myself questions was interesting and you guys hear enough from me. However, a dear friend sent me a text and said I should let my family interview me. So, I have asked each family member to think of two "tough questions" for me.
Morgan's Question: What was the hardest part of being a single mom?
Answer: I think one of the hardest parts was trying to balance my time working to provide financially and spending time with you guys to make sure we were talking, laughing, and making new memories. It was a constant tug of war. Actually it is a big battle for most married, working moms, but it was much more intense as a single mom.
Morgan's Question: What have been the biggest challenges in forming relationships with Abby and Harrison?
Answer: This is a great question but hard to wrap into a short answer. I think the toughest part has been trying to love the way I love on my kids and combining my way with the way they were used to from Sarah or Ridley. It is a little harder when kids are older and I haven't wanted to push the relationships. I constantly think about how Ridley or even how Sarah would want me to handle what are normal, every day situations for moms.
Abby's Question: Have you ever been mad at God about something and then later thanked Him for that same thing?
Answer: Yes. After being married for so long and working hard to stay committed to the marriage, I was mad at God that He waited so long if He was going to allow my marriage to fall apart. I now thank Him for the things I learned from that season in my life. I thank Him for the three years I was by myself and healing (even though I was lonely) and I thank Him that He did wait. My ex husband and I separated 3 months before your families' accident.
Abby's Question: If you could do one thing different since getting married to dad, what would it be?
Answer: As much as dad and I talked about things and prayed about things before getting married, there are still things you just don't expect. I think I would have worked harder to find a Christian blended family that we could have met with periodically to share concerns and to hear some wisdom from someone who had been through it.
Landon's Question: What was the hardest part of the divorce?
Answer: The hardest was watching how someone else's choices (his and mine) caused you and Morgan pain. It was also very hard running a full time real estate team and being a mom on the days that I was so down or discouraged. There were so many days I wanted to hide under the sheets but I had to keep moving for the other people in my life. It is very hard to put one foot in front of the other when your world is crumbling around you.
Landon's Question: Do you think you did the best you could when you were a single mom?
Answer: No. Probably not. At the time I thought I was doing good but looking back, I see a lot of mistakes I made. It is very hard to parent the best you can when you are in the middle of healing. Healing takes some inward focus and some selfish moments. I now know that both you and Morgan wished I hadn't worked so much.
Harrison's Question: What was the hardest part about having a son for the first time?
Answer: Ahhhh. I guess the hardest part is that guys are so different from girls. I obviously knew they were different but I didn't realize those differences would require learning how to parent in a completely different way. I just thought my love and my experiences as a mom would get it. I do think it has been a little harder starting when you were almost thirteen. That is a tough age for boys and girls.
Harrison's Question: What is the best part of having a son?
Answer: This is easy. I always wanted a son. I think the best part for me is when we have talked sports or I can help you with "girl" questions. Teaching me about the Braves has been fun too and even when you batted the baseball right into my head, is a great memory.
Ridley's Question: How have your expectations changed from your other marriages to this one?
Answer: Wow. I could give a bunch of answers but I think the most important one is making sure that I am a Godly wife living out God's expectations of me. I have relied too much on MY expectations in the past. I didn't have Jesus during my first marriage. I didn't accept Christ until my second marriage was underway. This time, I let Jesus be the boss of the whole thing. I want to keep it that way. I fall short a lot of times but there is nothing like my past experiences to jerk me back to what is really important.
Ridley's Question: What is the hardest part of trusting a man again?
Answer: This one almost makes me cry. Nobody wanted me to trust again more than me. Once that is taken from you (even by someone else), words are very hard to believe. Actions are huge! As much as I wanted to believe you, it has been the times that you share emails from other females or when you look away from the inappropriate things on t.v. that have helped to build trust. The more you have been unselfish and patient with that part of my healing, the more I see how much you really love me and put me before yourself. Hearing your prayers for me is the cherry on top!
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