Tough Questions - Real Answers #3- Landon

Thank you so much for the incredible response to this series of blogs! I love hearing how this helps people. Please understand this is a brief glimpse of each family member's perspective and that was my whole point in doing it. I also want you to understand that our kids have been involved in counseling throughout the years and I never want to encourage parents to skip that. Counseling is a vital part of healing.

My next one-on-one is with Landon. Landon is eleven years old and will be twelve next month. She is spunky and creative. Her mind is always racing. Landon's smile and personality can light up a room. She is so loving towards others. As a side note, Landon is the only child that currently leaves for visits for an extended time with her dad. She is gone every other weekend.

Question: On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you?

Landon: Nine.

Question: Is that the highest you have ever been on the scale and what would make you a ten right now?

Landon: No. I was a ten during that time I didn't have to go spend the night with my dad. So, if I didn't have to go spend the night, that would be a ten. I just want to be there during the daytime and I want to be back home at night.

Question: What feelings do you have on the Fridays you have to leave?

Landon: I get excited at first that it is Friday and I am out of school. Then I remember I have to go to my dad's house. I am happy to see him, but I would much rather be home and not miss out on my family. My dad is usually talking business all the time on his phone anyway.

Question: What can we all do to make that time away better?

Landon: I want you guys to text me when I am gone so we can talk. It would always be great if you spent more time with me when I am home. (SMILE)

Question: What do parents need to know who might be considering a divorce?

Landon: Try to solve it as much as you can. If a divorce does happen, be sure to tell the kids it is not their fault.

Question: Did we tell you it was not your fault?

Landon: Yes ma'am

Question: Do you think your dad and I tried to solve it as much as we could?

Landon: I think you did, mom, but I don't think my dad did.

Question: Why do you think that?

Landon: I saw it.

Question: What would you tell me to do differently when I was a single mom?

Landon: You could have been around more. You were gone a whole lot working. You could have told me more about the divorce and why it happened, when I was younger.

Question: Mommy had to work so you could have some of the things you had. Would you have rather had a house not as nice and less things, so I didn't have to work as much?

Landon: Yes. I would pick having you home instead of all that stuff. I would trade it for more memories.

Question: What is your favorite memory of swirling our family? (we prefer this term over "blending" around the Barron household)

Landon: The time I had a date with you and daddy all by myself where I got to color with daddy, played hide and seek, and ate McDonald's. It is also when we all hang out together doing anything.

Question: What is the hardest part of swirling a family?

Landon: Well....probably dealing with having new siblings. You aren't used to them and I kind of found them annoying at first, but now they are only annoying some times. (She laughs)

Question: Are you mad at God about the divorce?

Landon; No ma'am. I was at first but not any more. I am actually thankful for the divorce now.

Question: Why?

Landon: Because I have better people in my life now that I can look up to.

Question: How has the divorce and swirling our family affected your relationship with Jesus?

Landon: It has made it stronger. I have had to rely on Him more. I talk to Jesus like a friend.

Question: Is there anything you want people to know about divorce?

Landon: Divorce is really hard on kids because you don't have a choice and someone just leaves.

Question: What was it like when you got a new step dad?

Landon: I was so used to just having you that I went to you every time when you guys were first married. If I tried to go to him, Abby and Harrison were always going to him and I didn't get much chance. Now, I go to both of you, but I don't want to not go to you. I sometimes get nervous he might leave.

Question: Do you think Ridley might ever really do that?

Landon: No

Question: So why do you get nervous that he might leave?

Landon: It is kind of weird because I don't think he will leave but that is a fear I pray about and I pray to trust more.

Question: Do you have a boyfriend...just kidding. Do you want to get married one day?

Landon: Yes!

Question: What is the most important thing you will look for in a husband?

Landon: That he is a Christian and that he really does love me.

Question: Do you ask God why a divorce and why a new family?

Landon: No. I know He has plans for everything. That actually gets me excited to see what is going to happen for me later on.