Undercover Wife

In the middle of worship last Sunday morning, Ridley leaned over and whispered something really spiritual to me. "Hey. What is the name of that show on t.v. where the boss goes behind the scenes at his own company?". I snickered and quickly responded with, "Undercover Boss". I have learned to just answer the questions and let the pastor and the Holy Spirit put the final touches on the sermon. I have randomly thought about that moment a few times this week and one of those times was in preparation for this blog post. My head rolls with lots of topics that I can write about but to narrow down, I often ask God to show me what the focus for the day should be. Don't be confused that Undercover Wife means Undercover Boss. I can be bossy at times but I am not the boss!

I have had the incredible pleasure and sheer heartache of watching my best friend and husband make a very difficult decision in his leadership role. Since we have been married, I have never witnessed such a tough decision for him. I have watched in the wee hours of the night as he is restless. I have watched him in the kitchen with dim lights, a computer, charts, graphs, and calculators. I have heard his prayers begging God and I have heard his crying. The sweet thing is, if it was a decision that just affected him, it would have been easy. However, it was a decision that affected others....others that he loves. Godly decision making requires a heart that longs for His will over anything else. It sounds easy until you find yourself right in the middle of it.

Finding my place in this decision making process has been hard and enlightening. My first instinct is to jump in, love him up and fix it. I am thankful for some wise words that were shared with me during our engagement. They came from my dear friend and pastor's wife. "Don't give advice about church stuff unless you are asked." I have repeated those words so many times in my head. During this time, I have sat beside Ridley, prayed for him, held his hand and silently loved him through this process. This is what I have learned about making Godly decisions while watching.

1. Commit the decision to prayer. Frame your attitude with faith and trust as you pray.

2. Define the decision. Be sure to break down all the distractions or obstacles in an effort to really define the decision.

3. Be ready to accept AND obey God's answer. It is absolutely essential that your will is submitted to God's will, no matter how uncomfortable the answer may be. I believe God may sometimes delay our answer if He knows we aren't going to obey.

4. Exercise faith. As much as we often want an immediate answer, the process may take time. You may have to submit your will to God over and over again. Then, with faith, know that He will reveal an answer at the right time. Hebrews 11:6 says,
"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."

5. Seek concrete direction. This is the part where the kitchen bar became the work space and Ridley poured over scripture to seek Biblical answers, researched and wrote down things he was learning.

6. Obtain counsel. Yes, even the pastor needs Godly leaders in his life. They contribute important insight, answer questions, remove doubts and confirm inclinations. Make sure to choose individuals who will offer sound biblical advice and not just say what you want to hear. "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed." Proverbs 15:22

7. Weight the decision. Make a list if you have to so you can see the pros and cons. This will often show you more obvious direction and give you a more realistic picture of your options.

8. Choose your spiritual priorities. Establish your spiritual priorities as they relate to the decision. Then ask yourself which decision best satisfies the spiritual priorities.

9. Act on your decision. This can oftentimes be the hardest part. When you have every intention of pleasing God's heart, have read your Bible to stay in check, incorporated wise counsel and prayer, you can proceed with confidence. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28


I can tell you I have I thanked God a few times for being Mrs. Barron during this season. To watch "Pastor Ridley" love His Lord and his calling this much, has blessed me. My heart is full from learning from such a Godly man. I am a better person because of it and in a bittersweet way, I can't wait to see what is ahead after this journey of obedience.