My Blog

Ridley Barron Ministries has been working on our new website for several months now. It is up and running full speed ahead. We continue to pray and dream about new things coming under our umbrella of ministries. I can't wait for you to see what God is up to.

This will be my last post on blogspot. Please take just a moment and go to http://www.ridleybarron.com and click on Blog. Then click on Lisa's Blog. There you can simply click on RSS feed or enter your email to keep receiving my blog updates. I am so grateful that you have been a follower of my crazy writings. I am always open to hear what your interest, thoughts and comments are in regards to what I share.

I pray for you, as my readers and I would ask that you continue to pray for me as I am in the middle of writing my book.


Big Jesus love!

Lisa

What Does Your Table Look Like?

With Thanksgiving only a day away, I keep coming back to the table. I am not referring to decorating because my mom is hosting Thanksgiving this year. I am not referring to going back for seconds although her cooking is worthy. I am referring to the table itself and what it represents.

My mom is know for some of the prettiest table decorating. She puts thought and effort into it. There are amazing colors, candles, napkins and inviting themes that make you want to hang out there well beyond the last crumb. If you think about it the table represents so many things. The table is not only a place of provision and abundance. It is a place where conversations happen. It is where business transactions may occur. It is a place where friends gather. It is a place of laughter or prayer. It even has religious symbolism.

I have a glass top table in our kitchen and the finger prints that once stressed me, now remind me that with four teenagers, there is still table activity. I still believe whoever is home should be at the dinner table. There were times growing up when the world would call and my dad would step away from the table. There was the time I sat at the table for the last time before heading out to my own apartment. There were the times I sat by myself and reheated my dinner as a single mom. There was the conversation at the table when Morgan let her wall down with Ridley. There were the nights Ridley sat with a calculator and went back and forth from praying and figuring on how to make the church budget work. Ahhhh, the table and all its memories.

In reading my Bible this afternoon I found this verse, "May the table set before them become a snare; may it become retribution and a trap. May their eyes be darkened so they cannot see, and their backs be bent forward." (Psalm 69:22 & 23) At first reading, this didn't sound anything like the sweet table memories I have. I did some digging and realized that God is referring to the unbelieving. The message was to those who feast on the things of the world and become blind to the things that are good for them. When the delights of the world combine with corruption of our nature, then we don't see what we really need to feed ourselves in a healthy way. False desires become the fuel for sin in our lives and our feasting table becomes a snare.

As you pull up a chair tomorrow to some of the most beautiful tables and some of the tastiest foods, I pray that your focus and your heart is healthy. May you smell the aroma of Christ in your life. May you be completely filled with the love of Christ. May you desire His best in your life. May you let Him prepare the table where you can find the most complete satisfaction. May you be grateful for His grace and faithfulness. Sit with a new awareness of gratitude. God may have decorated your table a little different than you pictured this season, but He is absolutely the best at knowing what you needed. Taste and see that the Lord is so good and stay a while. Sit at His table and rest. He is waiting for you to pull up a chair.

What Is Going On With This Marriage Stuff?

I don't even want to answer the phone lately. I have received too many calls where I hear devastating news about people I care about. In the last several weeks, I have had five phone calls asking for prayer and encouragement because another marriage is falling apart. A couple of weeks ago I was parked in the Walgreens parking lot when I got one of those calls. My heart fell as I literally covered my mouth in shock. The story sounded all too familiar but the characters were different. It is a story that I only want to share about myself. I never want anyone else to experience. I know they will.

Last week Ridley and I were headed to the airport and my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and I immediately looked over at Ridley. He asked why I wasn't answering the call and I explained that I was afraid to. As I dialed the number back, I began praying that the news or need would be a good one. It wasn't. Adultery had reared its ugly head once again and this time I was mad. After hanging up, I blurted out, "What is going on with this marriage stuff?"

So what IS going on? I know commitment is thrown out the window at the first sign of difficult. I know that Americans have "rights" and maybe that perspective is flowing over into their marriage. Maybe entitlement trumps honesty and integrity. Whatever the case may be, I am praying for marriages to be strengthened. ALL marriages. I am praying for families to heal and be restored. I am praying for husbands and wives to be best friends.

If you find yourself at the window ready to throw your commitment out or you are too tired to try, let me help just a bit. Almost about every man or woman has bills. They all have issues and they have bad days. They all age and their bodies change. The things they own can be gone in a minute. I say that to simply say, if you think replacing your spouse with someone else is a better life ....you couldn't be more wrong. You are just starting the cycle all over again. The Bible says in Proverbs 5:32, "But a man (or woman) who commits adultery, lacks judgement; whoever does so destroys himself.

Love your wife. Love your husband. Fight for your family. Choose to do the right thing. A selfish decision can bring self destruction. Proverbs 5:32 says so.

Shame On Me

Shame on me for thinking the way I think at times. It is a good thing that my thoughts are not His thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8). Shame on me for thinking the lady in the grocery checkout doesn't need to be spending her food stamps on quality meat. Shame on me for thinking the homeless guy carrying a smartphone has his priorities wrong. Shame on me for thinking the CEO of a corporation is selfish for having a company jet. Shame on me.

I find myself more desperate to imitate Christ and yet my fleshly ways rear their ugly heads. How does that happen? If I truly read and adopt all the promises and commands in The Word, how does my brain over power the truth so often? I mean, I am one deep thinking chick most of the time. I have to be. With the past that I picked out for myself, I constantly have to retrain my thoughts. I often tell ladies that after certain situations and circumstances, you will never think the same again. Of course God can do the whole renewing of the mind, but it still requires us "taking every thought captive and making it obedient to Christ" (aka my translation "Trap the crap" from 2Corinthians 10:5).

God doesn't do His best with lazy sons and daughters. He wants Kingdom kids that are go getters. For example, Christ wants us to serve. The outcome of that serving is His responsibility. He wants us to love. The willingness of the recipient is up to Him. He wants us to tithe and then He is the one from whom all blessings flow. So, if I am to look at people through the eyes of Christ (at first glance) then I have to work at it and Jesus will help me to see all things in a beautiful way.

I have struggled with eye infections since June. I have been to the doctor almost every two weeks and have been on meds since that time. My eyes stay red and water constantly. Basically, I look like the most emotional and depressed Christ follower. It has been a constant nuisance and reminder. I have been reminded to pray for new eyes....physically and spiritually.

So let me tell you what I have learned with my new eyes. I have personally experienced all three "shame on me" moments that I mentioned in the beginning. After learning more about the people and trying to see things differently, this is what I found. The lady at the grocery store with her food stamps has a son with very specific allergies and she is doing her best to take care of his diet within her limits. The homeless man with a smartphone has it for a reason. He has to be able to check in for his work shifts so he can make enough money to get his kids back. He also desires to stay in touch with his kids until they are back together. By the way, the smartphone was a donation if you just wondered why he didn't have a cheaper phone. I know this because I thought the same way at first. Lastly, the CEO with the private jet uses his jet to fly people all over the country. It is his ministry to love on others that may not be able to afford travel or for someone who has an emergency. He also spends air time getting to know people and their stories a little better. He is a busy man who still finds time to make people feel special. He is a man giving back for the ways that God has blessed him.

Shame on us for assuming the worst at times when God really wants us to see Him at His best. I challenge you to look at things differently today. Get to know the characters in God's story and in those moments you will see of the most beautiful things God is up to. The real blessing comes when He just might use you and your new eyesight to help out.

Lunch On The Other Side Of The Tracks

I had planned not to blog about my lunch adventure a couple of weeks ago. I changed my heart and my mind. My prayer this morning was for my heart to expand as much as Jesus needed it to in order to love all the people that He is putting into my life. The more I get out and meet new people, the more I realize God wants us to love people.

I think we tend to throw the word LOVE around a little too loosely. We love certain foods, we love certain movies, we love certain songs, we love whatever. The Bible says numerous times that we are to love people. (Leviticus 19:17, John 13:24, John 15:12, John 4:11, 1 John 4:7, 1 John 3:14). Now that doesn't mean you can't tell your friend you "love her hair". However, I wonder if it has become so easy to throw love out everywhere except to people. I mean the strangers or the people who look different than us. People across the world understand the impact of love. Even people who don't believe in Jesus Christ understand the real meaning and feeling of love. Imagine if that was lived out in the way God really intended.

These are the thoughts and prayers of my heart and a few other friends lately. So we decided since we have grown up in Jesus together, it was time to really love people. We have shared tons of lunches over the years. As much as I love lunch with friends, we did the math and realized we could be loving on a lot of people during those hours and still be together. As we gathered around a kitchen table for the first day of outreach lunch, we prayed for the Holy Spirit to guide us. We made our homemade cookies and headed out. We went to the area where we had all driven past numerous times over the years. We couldn't tell you one story about any of the people who live in that area. That was about to change!

We knocked on doors and were greeted with uncertain faces that quickly softened when they realized we didn't have an agenda or campaign material. We shared laughs, stories, and prayers with several. As we rounded a corner of a row of houses, we saw a man sitting on a front porch. As we approached, we heard his little radio and saw his denim overalls. He waved and greeted us with the same look of uncertainty. Our conversation was sweet and interesting. Mr. Scruggs lived by himself and had been in that house for forty years. He had ten kids grown and busy. He knew history about our small town and was overjoyed with our simple homemade cookies. He asked for seconds as he joked and stood to share hugs. I will never forget Mr. Scruggs. Pushing back my tears, I felt guilty for the years of lunches and my selfishness. He invited us back soon and that is a lunch I look forward to.

As we finished the small section of homes, we had extra cookies. We went over some nearby railroad tracks and the scene was completely different. Within just a few yards, the houses were grand and well kept. The hired help was out in the yard and I have to admit that our homemade cookie offer suddenly made me a little nervous. I wasn't sure what reaction we would get. The greetings of uncertainty didn't fade as quick and the smiles weren't so obvious. There were looks of confusion and doubt. One person even offered to pay us for the cookies. I wondered if they would even eat them. I quickly wanted to go back to the other side of the tracks.

I don't share any of that for anything more than to challenge you. There are people everywhere waiting to be loved. There are people who love their things and have forgotten the love of people. There are lonely people with lots of love stored up to share. You don't have to give up your friend lunch or your Starbucks run. Just find a way to share it with someone else. It will fill you up in so many awesome ways that you will want to have lunch out every day.

Finding My Way Through the Memories

With yesterday being my birthday, I couldn't help but think about memories. Most of the time it has been more fun for me to think about the memories of my younger days with family and celebrations. As I got older, special events and birthdays became a magnet for disappointment. When I was married before, I found myself dreading those memory making moments. I had grown somewhat numb to the treatment I got (or didn't get) on days like my birthday. However, I worried about my kids, my extended family and my friends as they watched with anticipation of a new opportunity for things to be different. Those special people in my life stepped up each year to try to recreate sweet memories for me. Those did matter and carried me most times.

Being married to Ridley for four years now, I find myself wanting to slow down time since I just found him. Then at times I want it to all go fast so I can have more memories under my belt that are happy, loving and fun to remember. Part of "do overs" in life is finding the balance between what to remember and what to forget. It is about remembering the things that are productive to remember so you can trace God's grace in your life and live grateful each day. It is letting go of the old things that try to creep into the new memories and eat away at them like a cancer.

A couple of weeks ago I was at a family reunion with Ridley's family....his big, extended family. There were eighty plus people there and typically that is what you will find every Memorial Day Weekend. I sit and listen to stories and honestly, I still try to remember who goes with who. It is a lot to keep up with. I love getting to know each family member and I love listening to stories as I try to cram as many in my memory bank as I can. They have been so loving and accepting of me and my girls. On Sunday morning, during this year's family reunion worship time, there was a memorial service moment where we remembered and reflected on the family that has passed away. With each picture on the screen, I had very few memories to reflect on. I sat in my chair almost wanting to squeeze my eyes shut as if to make some appear in my thoughts. I will admit it was a bit of an empty feeling. There were pictures of Josh and Sarah as well. I am the first to want to keep those memories alive for the people I love, but in that brief moment I felt I was in the way.

For the next few days, my thoughts would trail to my negative memories that I really want to forget most of the time. Then my thoughts went to the fact that I don't have very many new memories to cling to. That doesn't mean I don't have great friend and family memories over the years, but I am referring to my immediate family, grown up memories. I guess you could say it is the mom, the dad and the kid memories. I couldn't find my place in the memory department. It was almost like watching a DVD and rewinding or fast forwarding to get to the right place in the movie, but you just keep passing it by.

As I was driving one of the days after the reunion, the verse Jeremiah 1:5 popped in my head from nowhere. (I just want to say I don't always remember where something is in the Bible so I have to look it up. Don't ever feel bad for not knowing where to find the verse. It is most important to just know it). Jeremiah 1:5 says, "I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb". In that moment, I took a deep breath and peace landed smack dab in my heart. I am a Jesus memory!

If you are feeling like you are trying to find your place, your worth, your name, or your memory. There is one constant thing you can anchor to. There is one single point of reference you can always go back to safely. There is one mark you can always bank on and shoot for. You are a giant, Jesus memory! May that single thought land smack dab in your heart today and give you PEACE.

Nobody is Looking

Like most people, I watched several tribute shows regarding the anniversary of 9/11 over the weekend. I too remembered where I was, what I was doing and even the thoughts that ran through my head in those moments. As I reflected, I tried to put myself in some of those people's shoes. I imagined the people on the airlines that knew things were going wrong. I thought of the men and women who were trapped in smoke filled buildings and what must have gone through their heads. I thought of people on the streets that had to witness strangers jumping out of windows from the 100th floor. So many images were swirling in my thoughts every time I reflected on that one day. Then I realized something else. I couldn't tell you the name of one single person who was a hero that day.

I know there were many. In the worst of times we often see the best of people. There were men and women who pushed through their own personal fear to calm others. There were strangers that helped others with medical conditions down the numerous flights of stairs. There were the police and the firemen who risked their lives to go into the danger. There were moms and dads that made the tough decision to sacrifice, knowing they had family anxiously waiting to hear about their well-being. With that many people affected and that many people pulling together, I can't remember one person's name that made a difference that day.

I want to be that kind of hero! I don't want my name on a book cover so I can be remembered. I want people to hear about the Author and Finisher of real faith who can restore hope and provide healing. I don't want credit for loving on people. I just want a loving God to become real and personal to a world that is lonely and looking. I want to run the race that God has personally called me to run not to be a winner, but to share the kind of strength that comes from God. I want to be a no-name hero for God!

You see, it takes two hands to hold the horn we want to toot when we get prideful. I believe Jesus wants us to use those two hands to pray and to grab a hold of someone as they face the impossible. When nobody is looking, we are to love and serve at our very best understanding that we are doing it just because our heart genuinely wants to. At all cost, are we willing to be that kind of hero? Jesus was. He sacrificed big time for you and for me. People didn't believe Him and He didn't care. He knew what was good and right. Today, people still don't believe Him. He knew that was going to be the case too and He died for us anyway.

Be a no-name, do it anyway, kind of hero!!!!

What Do I Do Now?

Why is it there are some days that seem perfect and some days that just go so wrong? I don't believe any one person wants to wake up and have a no good, feel bad, all wrong-kind of day. There are those days where you wonder how in the world the day before could have been so good as you stand immobilized by the mess of a new day.

You know the days where one unexpected something pops up and throws the whole course of the day and your attitude in a different direction. Maybe it is the washing machine that breaks or a fight with your kids. Maybe a family member has been diagnosed with a terminal health issue. Maybe it is a pair of jeans that don't fit or a husband that speaks harsh words that cut into your self esteem. Or how about a denied credit card as you stand in the grocery line to buy diapers. There might be addictions revealed or gossip that makes your stomach sick. The list could go on and on. Some of those moments can literally leave you disappointed or weary to a point that you try to decide if you really want to "do this" anymore. The conversations begin in your head as you "talk yourself off a ledge". Sometimes I find myself or a friend at that point where you question why even put forth the effort if these kind of days continue to pop up. Typically the question I can almost hear myself whisper is, "Now what?"

I can't speak for men, but I think for a lot of women when we find ourselves in that "now what" moment, we suddenly want to look long term. We can take that instant fear, doubt or discouragement and start to project and cast a vision statement for our life for the next five years. We can picture ourself standing at a fork in the road as if the next decision isn't just a step, but it is a leap into our future. However, when a great day happens, we just simply relish the day for what it is and enjoy it. Nothing else is on our mind.

A little over a week ago I was on the phone with a woman who was desperate. As she explained her situation, I found myself lacking words of encouragement or wisdom. I must admit, her situation seemed bleak and I didn't want to throw out advice as if I had all the answers. Then came the dreaded question. "Now what do I do, Lisa?" I replied with a simple answer...."I don't know". The next thing I spoke out loud was a statement I have used on myself numerous times since then. I told this woman, "Do the next right thing you know to do". It sounded too simple with little hope for success. The truth is, it works! It is obtainable for any person in any situation. It doesn't require an unrealistic amount of energy when life has just sucked the energy and joy out of you.

If we read about King Jehoshaphat in 2 Chronicles, Chapter 20, we find that Jehoshaphat receives a message that a vast army is marching against him and headed his way. That probably made for an unexpected bad day. "Jehoshaphat was terrified and begged the Lord for guidance" (verse 3). "He prayed" (verse 6) and I think that is one of the best "next right things to do". Then one of the men had the Spirit of the Lord come upon him and he said, "Listen, King Jehoshaphat! This is what the LORD says: Do not be afraid! Don’t be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours, but God’s." (verse 15). Then he continues with direction from the Lord, "Tomorrow, march out against them. You will find them coming up through the ascent of Ziz at the end of the valley that opens into the wilderness of Jeruel.(verse 16) But you will not even need to fight. Take your positions; then stand still and watch the LORD’s victory. He is with you, O people of Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out against them tomorrow, for the LORD is with you!” (verse 17).

I love that these verses instruct Jehoshaphat about what to do tomorrow (twice) and that is it. The Lord doesn't give direction for the next five years. Along with the advice about the next right thing to do, is the reminder that the battle is not ours, but God's and He is with us. So if you find that today hits you hard or tomorrow has an unexpected moment that pushes you to a point where you are too zapped to respond, just do the next RIGHT thing you know to do!

Put Your Man In His Place

I am blessed to have the opportunity to hear other women's stories, to encourage them and to pray with them. I absolutely love being able to pray for women and to help them rely on Jesus in some of the most difficult times. I thoroughly enjoy celebrating the victories with them. I specifically remember in my own story that moment when everything was gone and I questioned prayer, everything I had been taught and whether Jesus really cared. I had prayed my heart out and things hadn't ended up the way I wanted. I could have given up on Him and turned the other way. It didn't take me long to finally write in my journal, "I have no other choice but to believe You." I was alone with two daughters and one big unknown world ahead. I decided I had nothing much left to lose and a responsibility to model Christ for my kids.

For days, months and years, I would pray some long prayers and some really short ones. Some that were simply, "Dear Jesus, I don't want to do this." Other days I would journal and as time went on, my handwriting became less sloppy. Looking back I can almost trace the peace. There were high moments and really low moments. Most of the time they had no rhyme or reason. There weren't special occasions that equated the high moments and there wasn't always a terrible event that triggered the bad days. Trying to let Jesus back into all the broken pieces of my heart was like major surgery. There was a recovery period for sure.

Then came the strength and even more peace. Soon I heard myself laughing and I enjoyed simple things for the first time all over again. My self confidence was building. I could feel friends and family watching with anticipated excitement as if I were a baby taking her first steps. They wanted to make sure I wasn't going to wobble and fall down again. On the days I would fall, I always had a friend there to help me up or to speak some really tough love (aka get your butt in gear).

Then came the day I finally accepted that I might be by myself for the rest of my life as a single parent. Saying I am okay with that and really meaning it are two different things. It was only a couple of months later that I met Ridley. I firmly believe that God held back the blessing until I fully grasped the order. He (God) had to be first in everything in my life. When Ridley and I began dating, I was reading my Bible and journaling more than ever. I loved the gift of a Godly man that He had given me, but I never want Jesus to stop being my first boyfriend. Once I let Him in that spot in my life, I never wanted to replace Him.

So many times I hear from ladies when things are going really bad. I trust that the Lord brings women into my life that I can love on and return the favor. I hear the good and the bad, understanding both and knowing specifically how I can pray for them without even having to ask sometimes. I celebrate the victory with some women as they make it through the difficult stuff and can breathe again. Then comes the peace and then comes a MAN. Suddenly, I don't hear from them any more. I no longer know their prayer needs and I no longer get to celebrate the victories of a relationship going the way God would want it to. I pray anyway hoping the order hasn't gotten out of whack. Some of the women will keep me posted. They will tell me they have met the right guy and ask me to pray. They will tell me they left a relationship that was leaning towards compromise. They will share their struggles and ask for advice on how to keep Jesus number one.

Here is my suggestion that will fit any season for all of us. Whether praying for a guy to come along, or dating or even being married, you better put your man in his place. Don't ever let a guy have the spot that God and only God intended to have in the first place. "But seek FIRST his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33

Digging Up Bones at the Truck Stop

I was one of the last to leave church yesterday as I encouraged a girlfriend. She was explaining a season that she is in and how the unknown is scary. As I tried to share my wisdom without assuming the experiences were exactly the same, I spoke something out loud that I have never said. I told her, "If I had written this season of my story, I wouldn't have written it this well." I thought a lot about that statement yesterday. I thought about how I would have written about a single mom who ran out of chances. It would have been much more boring than what I am living today.

My story popped up again in the afternoon as we met with the project manager for our books. She is amazing, gifted, talented and has a huge heart. She has read the parts of my manuscript that I have so far. With sincere eyes and a bit of a smile, she informed me that I had given her some good bones to my story. She told me I now need to add to the bones. She explained that I need to take my life outline and add feelings, emotions, smells, surroundings and to basically describe things to a point that make my readers feel they are right in the moment with me. Funny that for the last several years my prayers have been for me to forget a lot of things and last night as I laid in bed, I prayed to remember. I prayed to remember without it affecting me or my marriage. I prayed to remember details simply so I could help others. My stomach felt a little sick at some of the scenes that immediately began to flash in my thoughts. Some of the ones I do still remember but I was trying to relive in my mind with attention to more detail. That is when I thought again about the truck stop.

I remember that it was a cold night and I had to leave the car running to stay warm. I wondered if the battery and gas in the car would outlast my heartache recovery. I don't remember the fight. I don't remember the topic. I remember the feelings of inadequacy and failure. I do remember a strong desperation to find a place to run to where no one could see the real mess I was in. I had several special friends that made it known I could come to their home at any time and I had. They had seen my junk more than anybody, but that night I wondered how many times was too many. How many times did they have to listen to the same stuff over and over again? I was embarrassed and tired. Everything I had been taught by my parents went out the window that night. Don't be out late at night by yourself. Don't go to strange places and don't sleep in your car. I think that last one came up while discussing long travel safety at some point. I dismissed it all for two reasons. One, the truck stop was right down the road from where we were living at the time and two, I decided it was better to not expose everything my ex-husband did in the event God performed that miracle I was praying for. I wanted people to see the good God was going to bring out of this.

As minutes crept by and the radio played every wrong song for the moment I was in, I remember the windows. The temperature outside and inside the car caused the windows to fog up. I would try to wipe away a clear spot to keep an eye on my surroundings but the cloudiness would soon come back. It seemed very symbolic of my life. There were things that kept getting in the way of my dreams and how I had pictured things. The dream details kept fading and the more I tried to wipe a clean spot and focus on the sweet parts of the dreams I hoped were coming, the more my heart was giving up.

There were moments I thought I could buy some time by going inside the truck stop but I somehow felt safer and less desperate if I just stayed in the parking lot. I was parked directly under the large neon sign and I found myself trying to forget that I was in my own home town. I didn't want anything at all including my foggy windows to draw attention to myself. I wanted to hide in the dark of the night just for a little while so I could pray myself back to strength to go home again. I remember finally driving home and wondering if there ever was going to be a time that I would drive home for good. Or, was there going to be a time when I would be driving away for good? I prayed to have the strength to for whichever one was ahead.

So as I pray to remember and dig up much more than just the bones, I am praying that with every detail I remember, it represents a detail of someone else's life that could possibly be different. As I pray for the right words, I pray that the Holy Spirit will know better than me what words will wipe away guilt, loneliness, and denial for someone else. I pray that as I begin to tell a story with many layers of pain, someone else will get the courage to confide in someone in their life. In the end, my prayer is that people will see that among all the chapters of pain, disappointment and heartache, there is a God who loves and has a joyfully ever after for each of us!

Playground Principles

Recess. The good ole days of school where every day you were allowed to go outside, breathe fresh air, and chase the new love of your fifth grade life. Now, recess or gym seem to be an elective where you might move around every nine weeks. I remember how the kind of day I was having at school could determine what recess was going to be like. There were the days that girls were spatting all day and you knew it was going to be a time of cat fighting around the swings. Then there were the days that boys were picking on the odd man out and they were going to bully him around to get his lunch money. There were the days that you wore your cute, "don't get sweaty" outfit to be noticed by your new crush. How about the days where the gossip train made its way to all four corners of the chain linked fenced in area? Maybe that is why recess isn't such a big deal any more.

Yesterday, I was thinking about how even in your adult years there are days we experience flashbacks of playground drama. Somebody is making us mad. Somebody is hurting our feelings. Gossip is creeping into our day. People all around us are stealing our lunch money (I put gas in my car yesterday). We might be all dressed up, have a job and a few kids but some of the principles with relationships are just modified playground issues. Basically, I think we might have been on a training field all those years.

I wish I knew then some of what I know now. I get tickled that our playgrounds now are plexiglass rooms inside restaurants with tubes, ladders, and plastic balls while kids have a chicken nugget in one hand. You can open the door, feel the steam, and smell the togetherness. You have the parents that are tucked in a corner booth with their cell phones or the parents that gather to socialize, never looking up to see that their child is terrorizing the tunnels. I was that mom that would give the death look to other kids as they picked on my kids. Talk about flashbacks! I wasn't going to let the world mess with my kids. Guess what? The world is messing with our kids. The challenges they face are even scarier and bigger than the things we faced.

I can't put the world in time out or give every bad influence write offs. I have been praying for God to help me to better equip my kids AND me. On the big girl playground, I can fall quickly to jealousy, gossip, anger, fear, low self esteem, or bitterness. I have to remember to only desire to be popular for One. I have to pray to rub off on others and not allow negativity to rub off on me. I have to remember that I am to be different. Romans 7:18 says, "For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out." (ESV)

In order to carry it out, I have to get on the playground and chase my crush. The One whom I love dearly. I have to be close to Him in order to be more like Him and to turn my desire to do what is right into action. I have to seek Him with all my heart so I can model it for my kids and show them what it takes. Jesus doesn't care about my lunch money or my cute outfit. He doesn't care for the latest gossip or popular clicks. He wants to see what I am going to do with what He is teaching me and He wants to be there for me on the days I am full of energy and the days that I feel too tired to play.

Bug Bites, Bad Underwear and No Friday Night Date

As I sat in church this past Sunday, I noticed that my leg was still peppered with Honduras bug bites that were in shades of red matching my red heels. It was obvious which ones have itched more than the others. I suddenly decided I should have worn pants.

Have you ever had bad underwear that once you put on, you remember that you swore to throw them away after the last time you wore them? You know the kind that just gets all on your nerves and seems to flair up most when you are in a public place. You may have found yourself in aisle of the grocery store trying to "adjust" after a couple of double checks to make sure the aisle was clear. You back yourself into a spot that you hope is out of the way of security cameras and then you realize you probably look guilty of shoplifting.

Then there are those Friday nights where you are single and lonely. You gather the BFF's at the last minute in an attempt to boost your spirits. As you scan your closet, you look for the cutest thing possible to wear that just might attract the last good guy left out there. You pick the shoes that hurt, the jeans that pinch, and the lipstick that is the brightest.

Now, what do all of these things have in common? They all make us uncomfortable. Uncomfortable to a point that we take action and do something about it. Comfort was on my mind at 3:45 this morning when I couldn't sleep. In my brief moments of deep huffs and tossing, I thought about the soldier's wives that are uncomfortable sleeping alone due to their loss. I prayed for them. I thought of the friend who is anxiously waiting for test results. I prayed for her. I thought of the lady whose son was maliciously killed for no reason other than his skin color. I prayed for her. I thought of my family member who didn't get the job and wondered why God didn't answer that one the way I thought He should. I prayed again anyway. Then it hit me. Maybe loving God is uncomfortable at times so we will take action and do something to make a difference.

Proverbs 16:9 says it so well. "A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps". Whatever God does to affect your comfort zone is for the greater good for you and His plan. He doesn't allow us to be uncomfortable to make us miserable. He allows it so we make a difference. I know that when I am most comfortable I am usually still. Whether it is in a chair on the beach, in my husband's arms or on a massage table I can assure you I am totally relaxed and good for nothing. If God intended for all of us to be comfortable then we wouldn't be pushed to pray. We wouldn't be burdened to bless and we wouldn't look to love the unlovable.

If you are looking for a comfort zone, then God isn't it. However there is a peace and comfort that can only come from God and it far outweighs the uncomfortableness of allowing Him to choose the steps. I can assure you comfort now just might mean really uncomfortable later. Embrace getting out of your comfort zone today. Realize that God has His eye on you and He has a plan just for you that will make you feel so loved and special when you are open to whatever He has in mind.

My Selfishness in Honduras

It has been a while since I have blogged due to traveling. When I got back from a mission trip to Honduras, I felt I needed to pray through the thoughts, images and sounds that I have been exposed to before sharing. There were three teams from our church this summer that served an orphanage and a community of homeless families in Honduras. I will confess that international focus is not my greatest passion but I stood up in church months ago during a Radical series and committed to go wherever God wanted me to go. My entire family was going so my focus started out with the intent to make memories serving as a family. I knew what our team's focus was but my heart just didn't comprehend the people I would encounter. As our time for departure arrived, I began to stress a little over being away from home, my routines and the demands for nine days. A lot could be done here at home in a nine day period.

You may be tired of hearing about Honduras or you may be tired of seeing countless pictures on Facebook, but I have decided I have a responsibility. I believe God calls us places so our eyes can see and our ears can hear to share. There is no way that all of us can go everywhere but we can share stories. The pictures of Honduras I saw from the other groups before I left, painted a bit of a picture of what I would be exposed to but there is no way that a picture can share the things I felt. My selfishness was evident the minute we got there. I was worried about the conditions we would be in, my families' health, the things we would eat and even the fact that you can't flush your toilet paper. What an inconvenience. Those things eventually became a lesser issue when I saw a greater need. I will tell you there were moments that I thought time was dragging and I wasn't feeling all spiritual.

Then it hit me! The sweating didn't matter. The food didn't matter. The bugs and my melting toenail polish were of no concern. I began to watch and listen with different ears and eyes. These kids hugged all over my sweaty body. Who was I to worry about hugging them? There were children who had been sold into prostitution at a young age or dropped in a well by a mother who didn't want them. Yet.....they smiled, appreciated and had such joy that I was jealous. I found myself becoming friends with children I could hardly communicate with. It wasn't because I felt sorry for them. It was because they were being Jesus to us while we were supposed to be the hands and feet of Christ to them. One of the first nights, we were eating chicken at the orphanage. It was so interesting as I realized I wasn't even that hungry. My little buddy Ismael--who is now sponsored and love by The Barron's--was sitting beside me cleaning his plate. I asked him if he wanted my chicken and I teared up at the response I got from his eyes. He ate every bit. There were teenage girls and women that I felt a connection to. We laughed together as we struggled to speak to one another. A single mom sacrificing for her kids at home and a young, newly married girl can communicate way beyond their language.

As the week went on, I found myself working harder and harder to make things the best we could before we left. As an American I assumed these kids would have a better life in America. I do believe they would get lots of love here, but they have a simple life that I long for. They interact, laugh, play together, sit and talk, eat together, work together and rely on one another regardless of backgrounds or status. Nobody cares about what time it is and people don't seem to rush their life away. They live with gratitude for the smallest of things. They are so open to love others even though they have every reason not to trust people. They live as if they have a hope and a future. Do we live that way?

The last night was one we all dreaded as we were the final team to say goodbye. I didn't want those kids to see us crying. I wanted them to remain hopeful and joyful. Then there was Pepe. The twelve year old boy I would have packed in my suitcase in a heartbeat if Honduras would allow for adoption. He came up to Ridley and me and said "thank you" in English. I asked him, "What for, Pepe?" He said, "Everything". He wrapped his arms around Ridley and began to cry. I felt like we hadn't done enough for him and I told him we would be back. He replied, "Promise?". He didn't want the latest Ipod or gadget. He didn't long for a big fancy house or car. Pepe wanted someone to come back and love on him.

There hasn't been a day that I haven't thought about those friends. I sat in church yesterday tearing up as I wondered if they were believing that God loves them. I have thought about them as I walk into my air conditioned home after being in the heat. I have thought about them as I have ordered off a menu. I have thought about them as we weed out our clothes for school that don't fit. I have thought about them at times as I hear myself complaining.

As I battle eye infections and infection in my lungs, I am grateful for every tarantula, for every piece of nasty laundry, for every cut from painting around barbed wire and for aches and pains. I am most grateful for the heartache I have. A heart burdened to die to my ways and my selfishness so I don't miss the incredible things that God wants to show me and use to change me.

The Perfect Marriage?

Today is such a BIG day in the Barron household. There are all kinds of fours rolling around. The Rid-dad is forty-FOUR years old. We have also been a family for FOUR years today. We have FOUR kids and every bit of it is FOR Him. Many friends have joked that Ridley married me on his fortieth birthday so he wouldn't forget our anniversary. When we picked out a wedding date I worried about Ridley's birthday being overshadowed every year. Today, I woke up realizing the two are intertwined and make this day incredibly special for me. To think about the day Ridley was born and that God knew he would be my husband one day, just makes my heart have a party.

On the day Ridley was born, it was like God tucked my present away for years, saving it for when I was ready. It was everything I had dreamed about and waited for. I still get goose bumps every time we share our story and encourage other couples. People we know have commented that we must have "the perfect marriage". Here is a little secret I will share......No one has a perfect marriage. We have our days just like everybody else. We have the highs and the lows. We have the days of victories and the draining days of defeat. Please don't walk around comparing your marriages to other ones. I would prefer that you take the advice of Hebrews 12:2, "Let us fix our eyes on the author and PERFECTER of our faith". Landon just painted a picture yesterday of an eye and chose this verse to paint on her canvas for her room. Shortly after giving her my praise of approval, I walked by a picture in my foyer. It is the picture I have posted here today and it is absolutely my favorite!

This wedding picture catches my eye on my grateful days and on my grumpy days. I am reminded that every step of the way to that day, we both prayed our hearts out. We desperately wanted to make the best choices at the best time. I thank Jesus every time I walk by and count all the blessings in the last four years. I also walk by it on those difficult days and thank Jesus that He put us together and that we did pray. It pushes me to love Ridley better on those tough days because God wants me to. He gave me the incredible privilege of being Mrs. Barron. The fact that God trusts me to be Mrs. Barron, to love Mr. Barron and to be the mamma of the Barron Bunch, is absolutely perfect for me!

I am not perfect. The birthday boy is not perfect. Our marriage is not perfect. However, God is perfect! The fact that I was on God's mind on July 15, 1967 is perfectly okay with me!

Make Lots of Mistakes

As I finished up my clean-eating lemon and blueberry oatmeal this morning, a statement from a conversation with Morgan yesterday rang in my head. I guess I was thinking about how I would rather be eating a donut but my oatmeal was good for me. My statement to Morgan was along the same lines. She was questioning a decision and I told her regardless, the outcome was for good. She looked puzzled. I explained that with every decision we really don't need to stress so much because the right decision is good for us and the wrong decision is good for us too. The difference is the wrong decision is a little more difficult to muddle through.

Now before you rush out and make careless decisions, understand that wrong decisions can have consequences that affect others and rob us of what exactly God had in mind. I believe God looks at our intentions to get it right. If I think back to many of my mistakes, whether they were years ago or last week, I believe they have made me more Kingdom focused. They have put me in places where I have been so desperate for Jesus that I had no other choice but to surrender. I sometimes find myself longing for the learnings I had in some of the yuckiest times. I hope you always cling to Jesus in your most yucky times. When you do, they end up being fond memories later on.

2 Timothy 3:16 makes me feel much better. "All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness". Words like "teaching", "correction" and "training" confirm that we are going to make mistakes. So, we as we make mistakes we are to focus on training for righteousness. We are not to focus on false perfection or beating ourselves up for not getting it right. You and I can't go out and run for the first time and run a marathon. It takes effort, determination, and visualizing the goal.

Just last week as I was in the middle of mistake number two hundred, I did what every God loving, mom and wife does. I sat on the edge of my tub and cried. I told God that I didn't want to be a big girl for a while and I was too weary to pull myself up by the bootstraps. Here comes the correction......"Lisa, how many times do I have to remind you that YOU can't pull yourself up all by yourself?" I got my sweet, swift kick in the butt (in Jesus' name) and decided to get dressed in my armor again.

You and I are going to make TONS of mistakes. Take the pressure of yourself and take a big deep breath today! Mistakes are good for us. They make us better. The mistake that hurts the most is when we choose to quit." I am praying for all my readers to be warriors today and to not quit!

How many Goats, Rams and Bulls Would You Need?

I am having a ball digging around in the Old Testament. I can't always say that. I have been studying the history of The Day of Atonement. Atonement means to make amends or to reconcile. That was a day set aside when the Israelites could have their sins covered by the high priest who brought sacrifices into the Tabernacle on their behalf. Basically a life (an animal sacrifice at the time) had to be given so that their sins could be covered. The recognition of the day basically included three ceremonial traditions.

First, there was fasting. This was an expression of true repentance (Leviticus 23;29). Second, there was the high priest. Only once a year, on the Day of Atonement, the high priest could enter into the Most Holy Place of the Tabernacle and offer a ceremonial sacrifice for the forgiveness of sins for the people (Hebrews 9:7). Third, there was the goat. Not just any goat but the scapegoat. This is the part that I find interesting. The scapegoat is used in a ceremony to carry all the sins of the people out into the wilderness and to never return. (Leviticus 16:10, 21-22) I was curious how they got the goat to go away and never come back. I know it is the wilderness and all, but the past can come back to haunt you. So I researched and found out that the owner of the goat would have to take the goat and push him down a mountain so he broke his legs and could not return.

Here comes the Lisa brain. I began to picture animal sacrifices back in the day. I have read about rams, bulls, goats, and more. Bring that image into today's world and I wondered where The Barrons would house all their needed rams, bulls and goats. I mean, there are six of us and picture this....Mom loses her temper and I have to go pick out a goat. One of my kids lies so I send them out back to get a bull. Can you imagine? I definitely would need some acreage. Then I am picturing the whole scapegoat idea. I mean would it be good to be the scapegoat owner? I pictured people in town driving by the "dumping pile" for scapegoats while out for their country, Sunday drive. Can you hear the car talk? "Boy, the Barrons have been busy".

Then, I pictured something beautiful. You see a goat and a bull couldn't get it completely taken care of. The Bible says so. Hebrews 10:4 says, It is not possible that the blood of bulls and goats could take away sins." This is why the ceremonial sacrifices had to occur over and over again. Can you imagine the blood everywhere? Then...in comes this Jesus. He is the one that had to be the ultimate sacrifice. Do you understand how big God's heart is to stop the goat nonsense and to send His own Son to die so we were not only covered for all our sins but wiped clean? Picture that day when there was one last shedding of blood and it was enough for all the generations and all the sins to come. That is HUGE!

We must acknowledge, repent and ask for forgiveness of our sins. God set it up so that it wasn't a once a year kind of thing. We have access directly through Jesus and He has already taken care of business for us. All we have to do is admit that we are sinners and admit our sins. They aren't just mistakes, mess ups or oops. They are full blown sins and Jesus has paid the full blown price. No goat chasing or bull collecting. It is as simple as praying for forgiveness.

Allow your heart and your commitment to be refreshed by the reminder of how much God loves us.

An Investment with a Great Return

I had a gift of a day yesterday. It was like Christmas in July! I headed out for a brunch with some long time friends that I haven't seen in a while. The hostess was this amazing girl from our youth group long ago. She is all grown up now with kids. I have watched her through Facebook and heard of all the wonderful things she is allowing God to do as she moves across the country. It was incredible to wrap my arms around her instead of staring at her in square boxes on the internet and learning about her through typed words. The morning was packed with love, reminders, and encouragement.

Kari is a strong, Godly woman who parents three children while her husband unselfishly serves our country. I am super proud of her and the faith she lives out. After getting past feeling extremely old, I watched and listened to the details of her life. I love how you can get back in a room with friends after extended periods of time and pick right back up where you left off. Kari hosted this brunch to honor some of the ladies that poured into her growing up. I was humbled to be invited but wasn't really sure what I had poured into her other than love. I was a new adult christian at the time I started working with her youth group. Those teenagers taught me a thing or two so I felt like I should be honoring her.

We sat around the table eating, laughing, sharing, and talking about Jesus. I watched as each woman shared with an honest and open heart about where they are in their journey. To listen to the stories, you would be reminded that life is tough. However, my favorite part was listening to how each lady is relying on Jesus to carry her through and there was JOY. There were smiles and words of encouragement flying all over the place. This was no pity party! This was how God intended relationships to be. He wants us to invest in one another. He wants us to take the time to love on each other. He wants us to build each other up. He wants us to push and drag each other through the tough seasons. Romans 12:10 says, "Love one another with brotherly affection. Out do one another in showing honor." The whole morning was a time of honoring one another and honoring our Jesus. That is the way He wants it to be all the time. I wonder why we don't want it that way all the time because it sure is easier and more fun.

Kari took the time to write each one of us a personal note (not an email) with precious words from her heart as to how we invested in her all those years. When she began to explain what she had done, my brain scrambled as I began to open my card. I couldn't think of anything specific I had done. When I began to read her card, I wondered if it was really meant for me. Tears rolled down my face as I read how God used me in Kari's life. I had no idea! I was immediately encouraged that God simply wants us to be ready and willing. He will take care of the "able" part.

The morning was topped off with prayer time. We prayed over Kari and the impact of investing hit me the most when her sweet, eight year old daughter joined in to pray. Her words were wise and proof that her momma is investing in her. What a powerful moment that tugged at my heart. Investing in people is SO IMPORTANT. When we invest in each other, it affects generations to come. What a great return on a very simple investment.

Don't allow yourself to be too busy or spread too thin. Time is so valuable and how we choose to invest it is life changing. Kari has had many choices along the way and she has been wise with her choices. Watching her yesterday has once again ministered to my heart to push hard for Jesus. You and I may never fully understand how He is using us to invest in and change generations to come.

Do You Have a Crush? - C.S.I.

Over the last several days I have had lots of thoughts about crushes! They haven't been thoughts of reflection back to my fifth grade playground crush or any inappropriate attention to the latest Hollywood hunk. I am referring to THE crushed. The crushed in spirit.

Let's play a little C.S.I. (Crushed Spirit investigation)

Our hearts can only take so many attacks. We all want to be loved, accepted, praised, pretty, special, noticed, appreciated, respected, and _______________. You fill in the blank. It starts at a young age and for us to think it stops after high school, is foolish. Adults even at fifty or eighty years old want to feel good. Our bones may begin to ache and gravity may start to kick in, but we never outgrow the need for a light, loved heart.

As a child we are great at bouncing back. The minute an unkind word is spoken we immediately recite, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." Fast forward to forty years old and we find ourselves with layers of hurt and keeping score of all the unkind things we have heard about ourselves. It is amazing how somedays I can't remember where my grocery list is, but I can remember some of those comments in the girls locker room from middle school.

There was a time where my adult choices led me to an environment of unwanted emotional and verbal abuse. It really hits home when you ARE home. When the crushing comes from someone who is supposed to love you the most, it is incredibly painful. You take a deep breath as you cross the threshold of your home anticipating the worse and trying to find the heart energy to take some more. Whether it is a parent, an adult child, a spouse or some other loved one, it is devastating to hear the constant long list of failures (in their mind). Before long, you find yourself believing the lies and walking in defeat.

So, let's go back to playing our C.S.I. Wake up this morning and investigate your heart. There may be many crushes that have you waking up already feeling defeated. We can solve that!!!!! Before you muster up the energy to tackle your plans for the day, grab your Bible and go to Psalm 34:18. "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." That makes me cry happy tears. God wrote us a love note that you may need to pull back out and read today. He thinks you are ALWAYS worth it!

He has picked you. He loves you. He thinks you are special. He is never going to leave you. He has wonderful things to say about you and it is a mile long list. He has a crush on you and it is the good kind of crush. It isn't an off and on kind of love based on circumstances or moods. It is an all the time, even on bad days, best kind of love. Zephaniah 3:17 should make your smile turn upward. "Don't despair. Your God is present among you, a strong Warrior there to save you. Happy to have you back, He'll calm you with his love and delight you with His songs." (The Message)

It is THAT easy to solve the crime. God is unconditional love. He is singing over you today. Ahhhh, the excitement of a new crush!

It's Black and White

Here is a Lisa fun fact: I play the piano. Now before you start trying to get me to come play at your party, please understand it is simply a "for fun" hobby. I absolutely love the sound of the piano. It is all my uncle Greg's fault. The guy can play the piano! Growing up, my uncle Greg was a hero of mine. I loved going to Virginia to visit my family but some of my favorite memories are of sitting on the piano bench with my hero. I was amazed. When the bench was empty, the piano just looked like black and white keys that were patiently waiting for attention. However, I knew the passion my uncle could put into that instrument and the incredible passion that came out with every note.

I tackled piano lessons myself. I was driven by the example Greg had set for me. I longed to learn the names of the keys. I wanted to know how the left hand did its own thing while the right hand moved in the other direction. I wanted to move beyond Chopsticks and get to the good stuff. There were moments the learning went to slow. There were moments the practicing was no fun. There were those moments I cringed when my mom made me practice and invest in what I had committed to do. Ugh! Then came the recitals. I remember the feeling of wanting to throw up. Would I play with the confidence that I had in the privacy of my own living room?

The last several days I have thought about my old piano. Then I began to visualize how the piano reminds me of my relationship with Jesus. I always knew a piano was called a piano long before I touched the first key. It looked just like black and white keys until I learned more about it. Then after I spent some time studying the piano, the keys began to take shape and meaning. I recognized them by name. The more I learned, the more I was able to make prettier sounding music.

Jesus is patiently waiting for all of us to stop, get close, and learn about Him. He wants us to sit down, listen and give Him a try. It isn't enough to just walk by and recognize Him. He longs for us to grow passionate for Him and to allow Him to be passionate through us. He waits for us to model it for others so they want to learn. Yes, there are times where the learning goes slower than we would like. There are those moments that make us cringe because we need to invest a little more in our commitment to Him. Then are the really big moments where we want to throw up as we live more boldly by witnessing to others. We can only hope to have the same confidence in sharing Him as we do living for Him behind closed doors.

Don't walk by Him one more day and just recognize Him. It isn't enough! Get to know Him. Practice putting Him into your life. It doesn't have to start out as a grand recital. It can be a quiet moment in your living room on a bench. What appears to be intimidating can be absolutely beautiful. With mistakes and all, you can make some of the most beautiful music in your life.

Double Portion

As we sat in church yesterday and learned about double portion which is referenced through the story of Elijah and Elisha in 2 Kings, I smiled. It was Father's Day and I couldn't help but think of the double portion blessing that God has given me. One blessing is my father and the other is my husband.

My dad and my husband have so much in common it makes me giggle out of happiness that God picked these two men for me. Having my dad in the same town is a huge gift. I don't get to see him as much as I would like to but there is such comfort knowing he is close by. These two men have the same affect on me. Let me share a few reasons....

1. When I pass their cars in town, my heart does a back flip.

2. I can share just about anything with both of them and know they will still be one of my biggest fans.

3. They operate with Godly integrity and honesty.

4. I can sit beside both of them and be the proudest girl in the world.

5. Both have taught me so much and both make me a better person.

6. Both love my kids to pieces.

7. Both love their wives really well.

8. Both get angry when someone they love one is hurt (physically or emotionally).

9. Both are unselfish in the way they care for others and both would help a stranger in a heartbeat.

10. Both work hard to provide for their families.

11. Both impress me the most when they are learning more about Jesus and when they show their soft side.

12. Both love football! (Yeah for me)

13. Both don't like the UT Vols (Yeah for Ridley....I would have had to pray about marrying into that).

14. Both love my cooking.

15. Both look handsome all dressed up.

16. Both love being with their family.

17. Both appreciate and respect each other.

18. Both give great hugs.

19. Both mean the world to me and are my heros.

20. Both are constantly on my prayer list.

To the daddy who has always loved me, believed in me and supported me despite my mistakes and failures....thanks for always finding the good in me. I love you!

To the husband who always loves me, prays for me, and sees the potential in me to dream big. I love you!

To my Heavenly Father who has blessed me with double portion, I love you with a grateful heart!!!

Put It Back Where It Belongs

Recently, Ridley and I came back into town and as we made the late night ride home from the airport, all I could think about was getting in my own bed. I walked in the door of my house and I was greeted by the smell of trash. Then I noticed my kitchen. The counters looked like a giant scrapbook of empty cardboard pizza circles, crumbs, and dirty dishes. There was even a scratch n' sniff section of everything my kids had eaten over the days while we were gone. Well, I did what a tired momma does. I cleaned and grumbled. On this last trip's ride home from the airport, I almost begged Ridley to just let me sleep in the truck in the driveway until morning. I walked in with my nose pinched and one eye shut. My kitchen was clean! The sink was empty, the trash was out and the dishwasher was full of freshly cleaned dishes. I ran to bed with a grateful heart for my kids.

As parents, we have tried to pound it into our kid's head that you put stuff back where it belongs so you only have to touch it once. Letting it sit on the steps as you walk by twelve times, doesn't make it go away. With six of us, we can get in the habit of dump and go. Coupons are swirling due to the ceiling fans, car maintenance receipts hang out on the breakfast bar awaiting the proper glove compartment, and clean clothes collect enough dust to be labeled dirty again. Nothing makes the mom happier than her house being clean and her family helping her keep it that way. I know I feel so less stressed if I can come home to a clean house.

I have been making my mental list of projects for the next couple of days. As I have been doing that, a familiar passage has come to mind. Ephesians 3:17-19 (I love Ephesians). "17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

Jesus dwells in our hearts. He knocks on the door of our hearts and enters in when we open and receive Him. He steps into the areas where the garbage of our lives stinks and the walls display many scrapbook worthy scars of hurt, rejection, pain and suffering. He doesn't care. He would still choose to live there as long as we invite Him in. He is not one to bust the door down but He does stand super close, anxiously waiting to hear for the jiggling of the lock on our hearts.

Once He dwells in our hearts, we have a huge responsibility to keep His house clean. It is easy to get in the habit of "dump and go". For me, I know my past can clutter my heart if I let it. I was encouraged the other day when I reread the verse in Isaiah 43:18. It says, "Forget the former things. Do not dwell on the past." I felt so much relief when I noticed the words "do not dwell". I often feel guilty for even thinking about some of the junk of my past, but this verse lets me know that God knew we would think about those things and it is ok at times. The verse says not to dwell on it....not to hang out there too long. Basically, it is ok for us to get it out every now and then, but we need to pick up after ourselves and put it back where it belongs to keep our heart house clean. You see, I think Jesus uses some of the pain of my past to keep me in check to not hurt others. I think He reminds me of feelings of rejection so that it makes it easier for me to love the unlovable. I believe God can use our junk for good, but if He lives in our hearts, we have to put things back where they belong and only get them out when He sees fit. A clean heart can allow peace to flow, the stress to fade, and the glory of God to be shiny clean for the world to see!

Permission

I had a moment the other day that made me focus on how people often need validating. I had just returned from being out of town and found out that my grandma had gone into a coma while I was gone. Her health has been deteriorating at 85 years old. She has recently been in a memory care facility for her Alzheimers. I made arrangements to go see her. I have heard that people can still hear you at times while in a coma. I also knew I was heading out of town again soon and wanted the chance to see her. My mom and I met at the facility on Tuesday morning. I walked in with my Bible under my arm and saw that they had moved my grandmother from the bed to her chair. The workers told us she had been awake a bit and had something to drink. She was sound asleep in her chair. I went over beside her and one of the workers woke her up. She looked at me and I told her that her lipstick looked pretty. The place where she lives always makes sure she looks nice and feels good about herself. I thought back to her green lipstick case I used to watch her pull out of her purse. I knew she would be happy to know it was on her lips. She opened her eyes and we talked for about twenty minutes. Some of the conversation made no sense and then sometimes she was so clear.

As we began to talk, she asked me if I wanted some of her cranberry juice. I told her she always had us drink that so I had plenty over the years and she needed to drink it. She then said the cutest thing. She said, "I can be bossy like that". I laughed and told her that must be where my dad and I get the bossy gene. She repeated several times that she could be bossy. I talked about memories of when she would fuss at us grandkids. She smiled and said she didn't remember. Then when I asked if she was tired she responded, "I am tired of everything". I told her she had lived a great life and had been a wonderful wife, mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I told her I loved her and she said the same back to me. Then she said, "He keeps trying to get me to come." She repeated it several times. I smiled and asked her, "Who?" She shut her eyes and didn't respond, but I knew who she was talking about.

Grandma was in and out of conversation, but I gave her permission to go dance with Jesus and my poppie. My grandfather, or poppie as we called him, died eleven years ago. I told her he had waited long enough. I read John 14: 1-4 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. 2 My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. 4 You know the way to the place where I am going.” I told her I was excited for her and that there was an amazing place prepared for her. She fell back asleep and I left blessed by the conversation I had with her.

This morning I woke up to the view of sandy beaches at West Palm Beach, Florida. I got the call from my parents that grandma had gone to dance this morning. I smiled at the thought of her and the promise of a new body. I thought about all the "well dones" that Jesus probably told her. I was glad her pain was over. As I looked at the beautiful reminder of creation outside this morning, I was also reminded how powerful and in control our Heavenly Father is.

I believe my grandma was hanging on for the family that she loved so dearly for so many years. She was unselfish like that. It was my turn to be unselfish and to give her permission to go. I had to. I loved her.

Pressure Points

Since I was the first to wake up this morning, I quietly tip toed into our home office. Some extra TLC has gone into that room of our house since Ridley moved things from the church office to home. We have built in bookcases in the office and we also had to bring in extra bookcases to hold all of the books he has. I was excited about having my quiet time in the "new office". As I curled up in my red leather chair, I looked around the room and thought about all the scripture in all the books that surrounded me. It was like sitting in the middle of Lifeway Christian Bookstore. There was a sweet feeling of sitting in the middle of God's Word. I got up out of the chair and approached one of the many shelves of books. As my eyes scanned the row, a small little book made its way into my view over all the others. It was about pressure points. I was interested. As I headed back to my chair, I began to flip.

What was going to be a quiet moment, turned into moments of sirens going off in my head. On the first several pages this little book talked about how a marriage can be challenged by pressure points. There were a few pages that had a questionnaire. I played along. It asked the reader to check "any that applied". The topics were things like, "do you have kids?, do you have any recent major changes in your life?, do you help out with aging parents?, do you have financial concerns? are you experiencing health issues?" The list went on and on. What started as a quiet morning was quickly turning into pressure as I read about pressure points. The book went on to encourage the reader to discuss with their mate all the pressure points they were experiencing. Now, I will tell you if there is something on my heart, I want to talk to you right then. I looked at the clock and decided 7:30 a.m. was probably not the best time to wake my sleeping Rid-man to discuss our pressure points.

I sat in my chair and thought back over some memories. I remembered the day that Ridley purposed as we headed out on a beautiful day riding in the little red convertible I had at the time. The breeze was blowing in my hair as we held hands while listening to love songs on the radio. Fast forward a little bit and that sports car quickly gets traded in for an SUV with boxes of tissues, fast food remnants, coupons, stacks of "to do" list and other things that make a wall for holding hands. That's ok, I will stretch to hang on to his hand anytime.

One thing I say quite often in our family is to "hold hands and keep the devil out". If I am praying in a group, I will dart across the room just to hold Ridley's hand. If we are praying at a meal, we all hold hands. If we are sitting on the couch, I am probably holding his hand. I like to share my phrase with other couples. Just last week I was encouraging a couple and as I looked down, I noticed they were holding hands. The tears running down both of their faces were reminders of the pressure we all feel at times. I looked at the husband and told him not to let go of her hand because "it keeps the devil out".

I saved my pressure point discussion for later in the day. I made sure I sat close and held my hubby's hand while we talked and shared. In those moments of pressure in life when things can get heavy and distracting, it is so important to stay close as a couple. I really do find that it helps to stay close by holding hands. It means you are in the same room. It means you are either face to face or side by side and not miles apart. There is nothing that makes me feel more safe and security than when Ridley holds my hand. Pressures can pull people apart by nature so dart across the room, hold hands and keep the devil out!

Engaged

Ridley and I are becoming expert travelers. I am learning to pack with a "less is more" mentality. I am learning how to pack a suit without wrinkling and how to get away with only 1 pair of shoes. This is a tough assignment being a female. Then comes the challenge of getting all my favorite hair and skin products in a little bitty travel size. To top it off, I am getting creative with foods that travel well to maintain my clean eating. You would be surprise what a hotel room coffee pot can help you whip up. The sacrifice is worth it. The packing and being away from my kids can be tough, but the reward is unbelievable. It is hard to complain about any of it when I find myself smack dab in the middle of a God plan where He is choosing to use me.

Our most recent trip left my heart overflowing. As we headed out of town, I joked that I was out of words from all the praying about our recent decision to make Ridley Barron Ministries our full time focus. I decided that since Jesus had received almost all of my words, that this go round I would be traveling as a bigger listener. I learned a lot. Many of us (myself included) like to talk. Just because a person is speaking, it doesn't mean they are being listened to. I bet God can understand that better than any of us. I would imagine that was the reminder that Jesus was putting out there when He said, "He who has ears to hear, let him hear." (Matthew 11:15)

Although listening may appear to be easy, it is often hard work. True listening requires you give another person your attention and possibly to change your attitudes as you listen. I found that the more I listened, the more I could relate to people. I am sure that sounds silly and obvious. I typically try to find common ground and relate to people, but this particular time my ears delighted more than usual in conversations. I am blessed by the opportunities to meet all kinds of people from all parts of the country. I find myself watching and waiting for the people that God is going to put in my path. I listen to their stories and at times my heart feels like I can't take them in fast enough. I am intentional about engaging with people. I listen to their accents, their passions, their laughs, their dreams, and their heartaches. With all the texting and Facebook we have, engaging in a real conversation still trumps them all. With technology, I might have missed the conversation with a chef at a cherry orchard roadside cafe. I would have missed meeting a new friend who has a amazing love story of how she met her fiance in Kenya. Engaging takes extra time when you step into a security guard's world or to take steps down a hospital hall of sick children who are coloring with their nurse.

Do you know what my favorite part of listening is? It is when listening breaks down walls or throws judgmental attitudes out. It is when you really listen that you are able to put yourself in someone else's shoes and can love them for who they are and where they are. It elevates levels of appreciation and allows forgiveness to flow. It allows perfect strangers to become instant kindred spirits. The ear has an incredible connection to the heart. Make a choice to open both and engage.

MASTERpiece

Life is full of crossroads. There are times that we stand trying to prayerfully decide which road to take. Sometimes there is a right decision and a wrong decision. Then sometimes there are decisions that are right and left. What I mean by that is decisions that could both be permissible by God.

Ridley and I have been approaching one of those major crossroads in the last several months. We felt the Lord's promptings and preparation for us. We simply didn't have all the details, but we kept walking towards the crossroad. Then came the fork in the road. Ridley had to decide whether to continue to pastor or to embrace the ministry that he has outside of our church. Both seemed right and good. It was one of those times I wanted to submit and default to whatever Ridley decided. However, I remembered the importance of my role in praying. It may be Ridley's calling but I am a partner who committed to walk beside him and support him. My support didn't come in a lot of advice. It came with persistent prayer and patience. When you are praying about a decision that affects so many people, there is a great responsibility to make sure and make sure again that you are hearing God clearly and correctly.

It is at some of these crossroads that we have to be "big picture people". I believe there are times we are to live in our chapters and not worry about the big picture as much. However, there are also key times that we need to really step back and be reminded that God is orchestrating a much bigger picture than our brains can even comprehend.

The crossroad for us was a place where our time was going to be stretched and the demands were going to be more than we could devote the much deserved 100%. I think it is important to not wait until you are spread too thin to start praying for direction. If you wait until that time, you may make a hasty decision. It is important to allow God the time to speak to you and to track the confirmations. I began to list in my journal the many little and big confirmations Ridley and I were receiving. There were confirmations in scripture, devotionals on certain days, comments from friends, and questions from strangers. Those events themselves were specific but it was the timing of each one that blew me away.

The Bible is full of crossroads and the people that stood at them. Take Abraham. A man at a crossroad when a God he didn't know or worship asked him to go to a new land with his family. I am glad that Abraham didn't play it safe and stay home. How about Noah? No one had seen rain and he lived miles from the nearest body of water. Building a giant boat made no sense at all. That was a crazy crossroad for him. Then there was Moses. He did his best to argue with God and could have pretended that he didn't see that burning bush. He stood at a crossroad of obedience and had to choose. Imagine what would have happened if he didn't lead the people of Israel out of Egypt. Last but not least, there was Jesus. He faced numerous crossroads. How many times do you think He had to step back and remember the big picture....the masterpiece that His Daddy was creating.

You see, we can't bring God down to our level to try to fully understand what He is doing. He is the Master and we are His pieces that He wants to use to create something beautiful. If we don't do our part, then we are like that giant puzzle on a table that is missing only one piece. It could be a 5,000 piece puzzle but that one piece interrupts the beauty of the masterpiece puzzle. As Christ followers, we can't risk it. We can't miss the responsibility and the beauty of our piece. Our Master is counting on us....all of us. As difficult as those crossroad decisions may be, it is truly easier to do the right thing (not always the easy thing) and fully experience a MASTER-PEACE!

Are You Talking in the Hall?

During the week, Ridley and I may pop in to visit at the school where our church meets. We have friends that are teachers and a few kids we like to check on. The sights, sounds AND smells take me back every time. I find myself saying, "Surely I didn't do that". Our visits seem to typically occur around the lunch time hours. The halls are full of those single file lines. You know, the ones with the teacher leading and the kids battling the urge to stray out of the line. Lunch boxes are swinging. Boys are picking on girls and the class clown is the free entertainment.

Yesterday, I received an encouraging email from a dear friend and lover of the Word. The verse she shared was from Isaiah 43:19, "See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." I have read that many times and I love the part about doing a new thing. That in itself has been a huge encouragement to me over the years. However, yesterday, the second part spoke to me more. "Do you not perceive it?" My translation..."Lisa, why are you whining and being so stubborn?" The verse goes on to say "I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland". Trust me, I want God to make the way because mine often stink and yes, I definitely want His way when I am in the desert.

So why do I do that thing? That thing where I question and whine DURING the way. I was reminded of those school hallways and how I am like those students. I won't just stay in the line and follow the Teacher. I mean even when I know I am headed somewhere really cool and exciting (recess or lunch), I still don't keep my mouth shut. I am even in the line picking on the boy (Ridley) at times. Can't you picture Jesus turning around and giving me the "shhhhhh" as He puts His finger to His mouth?

The lesson for the class today.....embrace the seasons we are in and the seasons He is leading us into. The hall is where we have to practice our discipline and faith. It will definitely keep us out of trouble.

Kneed to Know

Life can be a mixture of emotions and events that tend to leave us speechless at moments. There are those moments where you feel paralyzed as your head and heart try to figure out how to respond. We experience that on personal levels and on much larger scales as we have witnessed in the last week. The instinct to love kicks in. We begin to band together with an attitude of community that makes us stronger and more united. As difficult as the situations may be, It is evident that God truly does use those moments to pull people closer together.

As events unfold and meeting needs becomes a focus, prayer easily gets lost in the shuffle. I am the first to admit that prayer isn't always my immediate response. Resources may be limited. Time may be limited. Physical abilities may be limited. Finances may be limited. Prayer is never limited. Anybody can do it and do it anywhere at anytime. That is why the Bible commands us to "pray without ceasing" (1Thessalonians 5:17)

As I stepped away from the world a bit today and stepped into the Word, I began searching. The roller coaster of emotions can wear the heart out a bit. My fingers gripped the pages of my Bible and my eyes began to scan as I got excited to see what God wanted to show me. I was looking for something new....some treasure that might be revealed for the first time. It was simple. Prayer is powerful and effective (James 5:16). God will meet all our needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus (Phillipians 4:19).

We try to make it more complicated. We try to come up with something brand new. Fear and doubt confuse us. Anxiousness makes us impatient. God wants us to keep it simple. He wants us to pray. He wants us to trust Him. He wants us to believe.

We all have needs. I would like to ask you to pray for me to take the steps of obedience that I know I need to take. Pray that I step in faith without looking for the safety net first. Provision comes after we step.

Now, how can I pray for you? When we get on our knees for one another, things change. God moves. So today, I am keeping it simple. I am going to pray for you. Let me know how. I kneed to know!

Vomit Is In The Bible

When I read scripture, I love to think about God's character. There are verses where we see His compassion, His love and His incredible sense of humor. I would imagine there were times that Jesus' statements were accompanied by a twinkle in his eye. Most pictures we see of Jesus show Him as a somber and almost sad looking man. We tend to picture Him completely serious all the time. However, joy is mentioned numerous times in the Bible and Jesus loved to celebrate. When there was a celebration going on, I doubt He was standing outside refusing to fellowship.

My kids tend to repeat some of my puns and catch phrases. That comes from being around me and picking up on some of my lingo. So I wonder if Jesus was repeating things that He might have heard His Dad say in conversation. Think about God talking about the blind leading the blind as He watched his creation. (Matthew 15:14) Matthew 7:1-5 talks about noticing the speck of sawdust in someone's eye while we have a plank in our own. I love The Message translation of this verse: "Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, 'Let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted by contempt? It's this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor."

While speaking to a group of ladies at a women's event a couple of weeks ago, I was reminded of God's humor at times during and after my divorce. There were times that laughing felt so good when my heart was hurting so bad. God knew just what to say to make me think AND laugh in those moments. I was retelling the season of my journey when I started thinking about dating. That was a creepy thing for me in my late thirties. As I began to even consider the thought, I wasn't feeling too confident in my own judgement. So what does God show me in His Word? Proverbs 26:11 that says, "a dog returns to his vomit". That made me think about some of my repeated behaviors in the past. Then I laughed at the actual picture of dogs and how they really do return to their vomit. Funny that God thought of that to make us think and evaluate our behavior.

Please don't think that God's Word is full of rules and criticism. Open it and read it. You may cry over the sweet things that God says to you. You might be encouraged by one of His many promises (there are over 7,000). You may learn a little bit more about who He is so you can imitate Him a little better. You may even laugh because He knows you need it. That is why in Proverbs 14:13 we read, "Even in laughter, the heart may ache." If you have the slightest bit of doubt about who God is, I dare you to open HIs Word. Only God could take the pages of a book with all of its words and meet each one of us where we need Him to for today. That should be enough to prove He and His Word are real.

Stinger!

After a birthday weekend for our daughter and the long preparations for Easter Sunday, Ridley and I decompressed yesterday with some softball practice. To help my cute, all-star husband, I love to get out and throw the softball with him. He never acts like the challenge is that great, but I give it my all for him. After throwing several times, I decided to throw my hardest and started yelling, "STINGER". I told Ridley I wanted to throw the ball so hard that it would sting his hand right through the glove. (Yeah - Right!) At least we got to laugh each time as I repeated my "stinger" in my umpire voice.

Today, I had a great conversation with someone about a different kind of stinger. Unforgiveness! This is a doozy in the Bible. We all know the importance of forgiving others but I know I have found myself at times hiding behind unforgiveness in an effort to not allow hurt in again. As humans, our hearts want to play mistaken identity and trick us into believing that forgiving someone means what they did is okay. That is not the case. Forgiveness is part of healing and moving past the hurt. I was sharing in my conversation today that the unforgiveness we hide behind to avoid pain, actually causes us more pain that the risk of letting someone close again.

The other important thing to remember is that forgiveness may not be just a one time thing. It may be that you are in a situation where forgiveness is a daily thing. Regardless of the method or frequency of forgiveness, we have to mean it in our heart. We can't just say it with our lips as a healing procedure, but we must feel it all the way down in our heart so that it is the real deal.

The verse that I shared in my conversation today was from Ecclesiastes 7:14, "When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other." Basically, everything passes by God to get to us. That person who hurt you....God allowed it. That unkind word....God allowed it. That attack on your character.....God allowed it. That person who lied to you....God allowed it. It is often hard for us to understand what God is up to. I think we should quit trying to figure God out and just trust Him.

I have been trying to look at some recent challenges like this: God has allowed me to experience this either because of my choices or for a teachable moment. It might even be that I am a part of a God plan for someone else in those difficult moments. Isn't it just like God that we might heal through forgiving someone and then God might use that to minister to the person we are forgiving?

So I go back to this statement....Let's not focus on ourselves in the midst of our hurting, unfair and inconvenient moments. Let's focus on what God might be up to by allowing it to happen. I don't know about you, but I want to take notes and make sure I learn whatever God is intending so I don't have to go through it again.

Jesus Lovers are Freaky to Me

I thought people who loved Jesus were freaky! I admit I did my share of rolling my eyes and steering clear of people that constantly talked about their Jesus. I found myself whispering under my breath, "Enough already" or "Here they go again". I mean total FREAKS! It was okay that I was a freak for football, fun with friends or my family, but those were things I could see and touch. In my mind, Jesus was a history lesson I had heard about growing up in church. He was a Sunday kind of thing and not very relevant to my present day. I was the girl that sat in Sunday school praying.....that the teacher wouldn't call on me to answer any questions.

I remember a friend in college inviting me to a church presentation. At the end, I was freaked out over a room full of freaks. I "played along" just so I would blend in. Inside my heart, I just kept thinking it was all too weird. I was so uncomfortable! I left and continued to seek my security and my worth in other feel-good things. I do remember that the harder I searched, the bigger the void became. Pleasures were short lived and the constant running to fill the hole in my heart became tiring.

Then I entered the corporate world. The world that thrives on materialistic things and success. I earned my spot in my own private cubical and I was a part of a team with purpose and goals. I was making a difference and the things I worked hard at mattered. I met friends and had help in pursuing fun that I felt was earned. There was one distraction. My cubical was adjacent to a Jesus freak. I began to feel like they were everywhere. This freak became my friend and lived out her Jesus daily for me to watch. It was freaky at times but I was drawn to her and her heart. She invested in me and I am sure she prayed for me. One day she blew me away when she gave me a devotional book that was her grandmothers. I couldn't believe she would give me something that was so special to her. I immediately felt guilty as I knew it didn't mean as much to me and that I really didn't even have a desire to read it. I took it home and later opened it. Some of it got on me. She knew God's Word doesn't return void. (Isaiah 55:11) However, I pushed it to the depths of my heart and continued to believe that I was in control of myself. It just made more sense and was easier to believe.

Then came the day that I was in a small plane and the runway was running out during our landing. I was about to be in a small plane crash and all the things I worked hard to control and obtain were of no help. It was my daughter's sweet little face that I saw in my thoughts. I began to question what would happen to her if I died and then I panicked. What would happen to me if I died? What if all of that freaky stuff was true? Once I was safe on the ground, I drove to the closest church. It had been poured into me so I knew church was where I needed to go for the REAL answers. Of course I sat right behind another freak. With her hands up in the air, her bracelets were a distraction to me. Weren't those people suppose to sit up front? I mean I couldn't hide in the back with all the commotion. Wouldn't you know it. During one part of the service she turned around and my best friend from fifth grade had grown up and was a freak! She walked the journey with me and Jesus used her to water all those seeds that had been planted over the years.

I can't begin to tell you how many times I thank my Jesus for my college freak, my co worker freak, and my fifth grade friend freak. I get it now! I am one of those freaks. There is a good kind of freaky that just gets you talking and changing everything about your life. To be honest, at times it is just as hard as that life I had when I was searching, but now it has purpose and there is a power that comes from the One I am freaky about. A power that can get you through anything. A power that is there beside you through it all and gives you a security that nothing in the world can provide.

So now that I am one of those freaky Jesus lovers, I have a lot of people I care about that I need to be freaky for until they get it. I am sure my words, my actions, and even my blogs wreak of freak. That is okay. I have a responsibility to help plant some seeds and let it "get on you". I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for those unselfish freaks in my life. I love them!!!!!
I now know that I mattered to them. More importantly, I know that with all my poor choices and my junk, there is a Jesus who desires to hang out with me. Not to punish me, but to fill the void that only He can fill.

This is Easter week. Step out of your comfort zone and hang out with the freaks. This world is full of them but make sure you hang out with the kind of freaks that you want to get on you. It may be uncomfortable at first, but it is just the thing you don't even realize you are looking for!